Given the amount of time we all spend thinking about sex, we have to admit that the majority of that brainpower is dedicated to the before and during parts, rather than what will happen afterwards.
But because scientists are the heroes our love lives need, they have researched the good, the bad and the ugly in post-coital relations.
And now we are here to give you the lowdown on what everyone can expect after having sex (apart from the awkward shuffle to the bathroom).
1. You will overshare personal information.
You might wonder why one minute you are having sex and the next minute you are telling your one night stand about that time you wet yourself after a few too many WKDs back in 2007.
According to science, it isn’t our fault that we are masters of verbal diarrhoea after sex; post-orgasm oversharing is just the way our brains are wired to encourage intimacy. We’re not sure it is quite having that effect TBH, more that they won’t return our calls.
2. You will feel uncertain about whether to cuddle.
We like spooning as much as the next person but sometimes there is an inescapable feeling that (even though someone has just physically been inside you) you can’t follow it all up with a hug for fear of how it will be interpreted.
Science says this is because women want closeness after they orgasm, while men want to create space between them and their partner. In short, it makes for the most awkward hug in the world.
3. You will bask in smugness (but only for 48 hours).
You might not notice it, but anyone who comes into contact with you for the 48 hours after you’ve done the deed will be sure to point out the smugness radiating from you. And it isn’t just bitter single people imagining it.
Science has confirmed that for days after having sex, new couples have an ‘afterglow’ that is evolutionarily meant to bond them together. Instead it just annoys everyone else in the office.
4. You will have your brain power boosted.
More good news singletons: not only are we going to die surrounded by cats, but all those people having sex are also getting smarter.
Science says that getting between the sheets actually restores age-related decline in our grey matter. Creating new neurons in the brain, improving cognitive function and basically helping us all to think more clearly.
5. You will (possibly) feel sad.
In spite of feeling smug in the 48 hours after getting laid, there is also a strong body of evidence that suggests in the minutes just after a couple finish, feelings of melancholy and depression are common.
While crying after sex is generally not seen as a sign of a fulfilling sexual experience, researchers have long said that as many as 46% of women suffer with post-coital dysphoria (PCD), but a 2017 study also showed that men with PCD feel achy and irritable too.
So give yourself a break if you aren’t feeling too sharp afterwards.