Fellas, if a woman catches your eye across the bar/cafe/bus stop, be careful how you proceed.
Thereâs nothing wrong with approaching a woman (or man) you fancy, after all, thatâs how most relationships started in the pre-dating app era.
But itâs important to hit the right tone when initiating a conversation with a stranger, because nothingâs less romantic than creeping someone out.
On Reddit, women have been sharing their best tips for approaching them, so weâve rounded up a few of our favourites.
Single men, take note.
1. Avoid commenting on her appearance.
âTo me, commenting on physical appearance is the worst thing to do. Itâs like youâre saying âhey, Iâve been looking at your body and decided I want to screw you, I shall now proceed to ask you enough questions about yourself until you let meâ. Saying/asking something random or witty about something happening in the environment is your best bet.â
2. Make small talk.
âTry to strike up conversation about a normal thing, mention the book theyâre reading, the game/movie on their t-shirt, hell even the weather. And if they donât reciprocate or seem interested, do not, I repeat, do not keep pestering them, especially if they flat out arenât replying or are only doing so in a very âI feel uncomfortable and awkward, please leaveâ way.â
3. Read her body language.
âIf she doesnât seem interested (starts to look away, gives short answers), back off and leave her alone. I feel like thatâs where a lot of men fail; going past that point and not giving the woman space.â
4. Choose your setting wisely.
âFor me itâs more like when shouldnât you approach me. On public transport, with headphones on or if Iâm clearly busy, do not approach. I am not in the mood for contact. If Iâm just reading in a cafe or shopping then a nice, âhey, I saw you and you seem like a cool person to talk toâ or something not related to my appearance then Iâll probably be game!
âIâve had guys approach me in coffee shops while Iâm reading or working to ask what Iâm doing. If I need to concentrate Iâll tell them super nicely, but often times Iâm a-okay with procrastinating and bitching about my degree. Bring me something intellectual.â
5. Ditch the cockiness.
âConfidence, not arrogance. Learn the line, because arrogance is the least attractive thing in the world to me. Honestly, I welcome any conversation, and Iâm not going to think youâre a creep if you come up to me and just talk like youâre comfortable.
âI can tell if youâre nervous and Iâm not going to judge you for it. As long as youâre not making unsolicited comments about my appearance or trying some creepy line on me, we should have a nice convo.â
- nerdsten
6. Make her smile.
âI feel like humour is something that is always a great icebreaker, or thought-provoking questions. If theyâre not interested by that stuff theyâre probably a boring person to talk to anyway.â
7. Notice your surroundings.
âThe best way is to make a comment or observation about something that is happening in the room. Sheâll probably have an opinion on it or not mind discussing more.â
8. Respect the sisterhood.
âNever attempt to compliment a woman by putting another woman down. For example, donât say something like âwow, youâre so much smarter than other girls,â because thatâs a huge red flag.
9. Compliment her style, not her body.
âIf you open with a compliment, make it genuine and about something she wasnât born with.
âI constantly get the âyour eyes are so prettyâ and Iâm so awkward and never know what to say, one time I said âhey thanks, I got them for my birthdayâ.
- bms618
10. Think about what makes her different.
âAsk yourself why youâre interested in talking to this girl in the first place. If your only answer is âsheâs prettyâ, then move it along, youâre probably one of five guys in shouting distance that thinks so too. But if itâs her style, a book sheâs reading, or something more tangible then just being attractive, start with that.â
- mudvenus
11. Donât over-think it.
âDonât talk to them like theyâre girls, talk to them like theyâre people.â