Allow us to explain.
New Zealand's NewsHub ran possibly one of the greatest investigations of our time after a 17-year-old Lorde fan tipped them off to something strange: the now deleted Instagram account @onionringsworldwide had 24 followers, and one of them was Lorde.
This started a full-scale investigation by NewsHub's Anna Bracewell-Worrall, who was able to do some much needed digging into the case.
After realising that Lorde, and several of her friends, were following the secret account Bracewell-Worrall began to track the locations where onion rings were being reviewed and locations Lorde was visiting at the same time. The dates matched up.
The first review the account ever posted was right here in Sydney at the QT hotel. The mysterious onion ring-leader was not a fan. Around the same time guess who was performing in Sydney? If you guessed Lorde, great job.
Most recently the account posted about flying from Tennessee to New York, enjoying an onion ring with a non-traditional sauce accompaniment. At the same time, Lorde tweeted about being in Tennessee.
when u in tennessee and the police escort take u from stage to sonic 💙😻 pic.twitter.com/IJGmGggYR5— Lorde (@lorde) June 12, 2017
This case was being blown wide open.
There are also a lot of finger and fingernail comparisons which were, frankly disturbing when put together with onion rings for some reason.
The most damning evidence in our opinion would have to be the captions on the posts.
"Every onion ring I encounter, rated" the account's bio reads. "Characteristics were a mulched onion filling with a distinct bitterness," a scathing review of a Burger King ring read. @Onionringsworldwide tried their best to hide their lyrical prowess, but each review sounded more like free verse than Yelp fodder.
This story, unfortunately, has an unhappy end. The account only posted four times and when NewsHub sniffed that savory smell of an onion-ring scoop, it was quickly deleted.
Like any good food critic, Lorde must know much of that power comes from anonymity. How can she honestly critique the best of the fried onion world if onion ring chefs are preparing their wares for a world-renown onion ring critic, rather than just a regular ol' A-list celebrity?
From here on out, keep your eyes (and onions) peeled, who knows what deep fried delights celebrities might be reviewing next?
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