Reddit users have opened up about the things that made them realise they’d fallen out of love - and it makes for pretty heartbreaking reading.
From the guy whose girlfriend started finding fault in everything he did, to the person who went to a wedding and realised they just couldn’t see themselves standing at the altar with their other half, here are their stories.
“I either didn’t want to be intimate with them, or felt like it was a chore.”
“Suddenly I didn’t miss them anymore. Suddenly, I didn’t care. I wanted to be with other people, I started getting anxious at the thought that I was living with a person I wasn’t crazy about. The plans of having a life together gave me chills and disgust. I wasn’t happy anymore and I was disgusted by them. Fun times.”
“When she started finding fault in everything I did no matter how insignificant it was.”
“When everything involving her became a ‘have’ instead of a ‘want’. Like I used to WANT to make room in my schedule for her, hang out with her, text her back, etc. Eventually it just felt like a requirement to do all of those things since we were in a relationship.”
“Male - during sex I would pretend to cum so it lasted as short as possible. I still had urges to have sex but wasn’t even into it.”
“It was like a light switch went off. He said something nasty about one of my sweetest friends and it was like coming out of the fog. We broke up shortly after and my friends couldn’t have been more relieved. I look back now and can’t believe I missed all his awful qualities for over a year.”
“Abusive. He used to get upset about little things and say, ‘maybe I would be better off alone’. One day he said it and I didn’t feel the need to convince him otherwise.”
“When their presence was getting annoying.”
“It hit me that I was more just resigned to staying with him because we had already been together for a few years and everyone (including us) figured we’d get married after college. I wasn’t excited about the relationship, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to our future together - it was just, ‘so, I guess this is it’.
“It was just a feeling of complacency and staying together because it was comfortable (and not in a good way) than actually wanting to be together. You know how sometimes married couples talk about the relationship going stale after having kids and years and years together? We were like that at 21.”
“I thought about him and I felt nothing. No happiness, no hurt, no anger, no nostalgia, no butterflies, no anxiety. Just... nothing. I realised in that moment that if he showed up in front of me, I’d turn around and walk away all over again.”
“When I realised I was more their mother than their girlfriend. It was fine when it was just small stuff like how to tip at a restaurant, but it got ridiculous when I had to explain how to act appropriately in public, how to clean dishes and how to figure out our transport system.”
“When I realised my emotional needs were not being met.”
“When I was going through an incredibly rough and stressful time in my life and he did nothing to support me.”
“When I was counting down the minutes everyday until he left for work.”
“The first time I realised it was one night when I had fallen asleep early. When I woke up, he was in bed next to me asleep with his arm over me, and I realised that the touch I once craved and loved and wanted to hold, now felt constricting. I felt empty and guilty that I was here, in his bed, hating every second of his presence. I realised that every day I pretended to love him, I was lying to him and myself. I broke it off shortly afterwards and I felt terrible for it. But even in my agony I was in the truth, and I wasn’t pretending anymore.”
“Went to a wedding with her and realised I couldn’t see myself up there at any point in my life with her.”
“When I realised that no matter how much we loved each other we weren’t going to work out. I love that girl, I grew up with her, but she wants a different life than me, and if we’re better off apart, no matter how much I miss her, it’s what’s best for me and more importantly, her. I’m not in love anymore, but I still love her.”