The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Took off my bra and forgot what I was mad about
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) September 18, 2017
if your tweetstorm nears 100 the app should automatically alert any remaining friends to come get you
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 18, 2017
Looks like the most popular Halloween costume this year will be "Slutty Nuclear War With North Korea."
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 19, 2017
my dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) September 18, 2017
Sean Spicer is joining the paid speaking circuit where he spreads info to people? That is exactly the thing he is worst at.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 18, 2017
Just realized Gotham has no plan for signalling Batman if there's a daytime emergency.
— Kate Sidley (@sidleykate) September 19, 2017
On the phone, on hold, and the wait music is Adele's Hello. 😒Really?! Had me talking back to her like "hello, yes I can hear you."Lol 🤦🏿♂️
— Danielle Brooks (@thedanieb) September 21, 2017
How confused about the world are you right now, on a scale of 0 to "trying to figure out a friend's shower"
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 19, 2017
I heard Kim Jong-Un would prefer to be called the "Space Cowboy"
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) September 19, 2017
hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"
— Ashley Fetters (@AshleyFetters) September 18, 2017
FYI, iPhone autocorrect, "ducking" is never a word I intend to use.
— Kate Palmer (@katepalms) September 20, 2017
Welcome to adulthood. Did you take your pill? Why did you walk in here? Who can remember? So much fun!
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 18, 2017
the iphone 8 will have a glass front AND back. in other news, i'll be increasing my dosage of xanax.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) September 18, 2017
Let's call super-skinny jeans for dudes "girlfriend jeans" since roomy button-downs for women are called "boyfriend shirts"
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) September 21, 2017
If you do not emerge, gasping for air, having glimpsed the abyss and its despair, you did not correctly pull that turtleneck over your head.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) September 21, 2017