We're down to the final four bachelors in one of the most exciting seasons of 'The Bachelorette' with Sophie making arguably the most shocking, and somewhat baffling decisions.
Jarrod, Stu, Blake and Apollo are the only ones who remain in the race to win Sophie's heart. Final four?More like final bore if you know what we mean. Haha, nailed that one. A classic zinger.
It's time for hometown visits!
First up we went to Jarrod's vineyard. Jarrod has a vineyard and he loves growing things. He loves growing vines, he loves growing love plants and he loves growing redder and redder as he stares intensely into the eyes of any competition.
"I adore Jarrod, and I love wine," Sophie says with her priorities completely intact.
Jarrod's mum immediately took him away to have a quiet chat in the kitchen -- which looked like it was directly next to the living area. There she pointed out that Jarrod had jumped into falling for Sophie quite quickly. "YES," everyone watching at home said. "YES," Sophie quietly said from the other room.
They had some grilled fish for dinner but that wasn't the only thing getting grilled around the dinner table! (Nailed it.) Jarrod's mum took her "downstairs for a bit of a chat" into the wine cellar/basement where Sophie was full of regrets (but her regrets were mainly that she didn't bring a bag to fill with wine).
After his family all gave Soph the approval, Jarrod admitted that he had fallen in love with her. It was a super sweet moment for ol' J-bird and it seemed like Sophie really appreciated his candour.
Next up was Apollo, who was excited to get away from the glitz, the glamour and the candles of the Bach mansion. He genuinely said he was excited to get away from the candles, for once that wasn't something we made up.
Apollo brought Sophie to meet some of his loved ones, his tiny horses. Surprise! Apollo owns an variety of different sized horses! Some of the horses looked like they had escaped from 'Sesame Street', some of the horses looked normal but no two horses were the same.
After some horse whispering that included absolutely no whispering whatsoever (you just wag your finger at a horse to make it reverse?! Horse magic!), Apollo took Sophie off to meet his human family and two friends.
"How are you with polygraph tests?" Apollo's friend Scott asked as they sat down to dinner, "because I have a polygraph in the car," he mentioned casually in the same way a normal person would ask if anyone wanted their drink refilled.
The best part of the dinner was when Apollo's grandma pretended like Sophie wasn't even in the room and just talked a lot of sense. Grandma told Apollo to be careful and protect himself in this, a very unique situation, which was actually great advice. She also called Apollo the best looking of the bunch which makes us think the magician's grandma is a psychic.
Next up was Stu who was excited to be bringing a girl home for the first time in over 40 years. "The first time I met Stu I thought he was a big douche," Sophie said. She then said something about misjudging him but we couldn't hear her over the cries of "US TOO," heard around the nation.
Stu's story seems to have changed from originally just showing up to pick Sophie and her friends up off an island to now having tried to ask her out on his boat. Anyway he got his chance to take her on a boat ride because he's a literal millionaire.
"I'm very laid back, very relaxed," Stu said as the pair chilled out on the front of his luxury boat in Sydney's harbour. "I really love this little cove here," Stu said right outside the f**king Opera House.
As they dined on a seafood platter and fine wines on his luxurious boat, Stu decided to reveal to Sophie that he had a vasectomy. "I've... you know.... I did.... After I had.... Do you get it???" he tried to hint. It was like the worst game of Pictionary ever.
If that wasn't enough Stu then dropped the bomb that, even though he's been separated for four years, he's still ~technically~ married. You know, just a tiny little snafu.
Then he was like "Okay, let's go meet my relatives," just for added fun!
"I get humour, we have a very similar thing in my family," Sophie said as she mingled with Stu's family members.
Sophie began talking about how difficult it is to find authenticity in dates and it was all pretty much the same conversation. "I'm getting questions like it's a tennis match, it's two against one" Sophie said apparently not knowing the rules to tennis.
The final hometown visit was with Blake. We quietly forgot Blake was even still here because he absolutely has no chance of making it any further. Sorry we're just being realistic.
Blake took Sophie ice skating which at first was such a snooze but then he clapped his hands and a snow machine started!!! Apollo isn't the only magician in the house! Blake is an ice witch!
It was actually super cute. It even made us momentarily forget our irrational fears of ice skates basically being gigantic knives at the bottom of shoes.
As Blake brought Sophie to meet his family it all immediately became clear: Blake has never been here to find love. Jarrod was right. He has, for this entire time, been on the show as a way for his mum to meet Sophie Monk. And for that, we applaud him.
Blake's mum was stoked to meet Sophie, until it came time for the grilling. Blake decided he didn't want to get involved because... well... mmm... We have no idea. So he basically threw Sophie to the wolves as his family asked her a series of increasingly intense questions.
Blake was super pumped with his decision to barely speak during the hometown visit, meanwhile Sophie was less than impressed.
Obviously at the rose ceremony Blake didn't receive a rose, and absolutely no one except Blake was shocked.
As Sophie tried to let him down gently Blake basically threw up his hands, completely blindsided. "The best guy for her is in this limo," he said. "Me...?" The camera guy replied. "No, sorry-" Blake replied. "Oh, you meant me?" the limo driver chimed in. "Hang on- no I meant," "Oh, you meant me..." the producer in the car probably said.
"Guys I meant me! I am the best boy! I am a good and beautiful boy!" Blake cried as the car pulled away from the mansion.
The one correct thing Blake did say was that there are only "the second-best guys left in the house now". After James' departure we couldn't agree more.
We miss you Jimmy.