When you're a cat person, it can be difficult trying to explain the appeal of these creatures who can be equal part cuddly fur-ball and equal part demon that's probably plotting your 'accidental' death.
While dogs are generally described as the best friend of humans, displaying loyalty, love and commitment, cats are often seen as the animal of unstable spinsters and people with unchartered depths of self-loathing. Yet, since ancient times humans have loved and even worshipped cats, so they must enrich our lives and provide companionship, somehow.
We rounded up some of our favourite tweets about cats and our, at times, complicated relationship with them.
(You can check out our favourite tweets about dogs here).
[god making cats]
The cutest face & bodies ever.
In their paws, tiny razor blades.
And the eyes of that dickhead Satan.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) January 2, 2017
My cat's reached that age where he needs help cleaning himself. Licking his asshole is the worst.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) October 16, 2015
Bestial force unleashed onto the black earth. Countless armies await my command. pic.twitter.com/FKMw7FyqqV
— Black Metal Cats (@evilbmcats) June 29, 2017
she's been screaming at these water droplets for 3 fucking minutes get out of the shower you tiny moron pic.twitter.com/rEw8V6SLCw
— corgi queen (@baz00per) January 11, 2017
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that.
DAD: So you're still single
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 28, 2017
Cats, it must be said, are the perfect pet for people with a real depth to their own self-loathing.
— Nic Healey @PAX 🥃 (@dr_nic) September 27, 2017
Coworker: [shows me pic of her baby]
Me: [shows her pic of my cat] Here's mine.
Coworker: That's a cat.
Me: Cats are just goth babies.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 26, 2017
[at the vet with my cat]
me: i know, that's why i brought you here
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 8, 2017
— 🐈 (@catsu) October 19, 2017
ᶜˡᵒˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵒʳ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ pic.twitter.com/wB7nz8LrsM
— 𓃵 (@lordflaconegro) October 15, 2017
There's a good story behind this gaffer tape, I bet. pic.twitter.com/SMbcgKgYzv
— Tom (@tdawks) May 8, 2017
When you have found a book but have to confront the fact that you do not know how to read pic.twitter.com/YzpfTDmLBL
— frightlight ghost (@sp0ka) October 23, 2017
Home is where the cat smell that everybody notices but you is.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 29, 2015
I bought my mom a book on how to make tiny hats for cats yesterday and she just TEXTED ME THIS PICTURE pic.twitter.com/n1a12QUaG9
— wendy, but spooky (@haganechin) July 15, 2017
On this day in history: my indoor cat went outside for the first time, finally understood his place in the universe pic.twitter.com/TitWOq5O2A
— Willa Köerner 〰 (@willak) June 3, 2016
[at the cat shelter]
Yes hello I'd like to start a tab, please
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 23, 2014
Cats have 9 lives bc that's how many souls they've harvested. To prolong their own life they must take another's
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) March 30, 2017
[god creating cats]
"How about...small dogs that hate everything"
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 1, 2017
apartments in the city won't allow cats, but they'll allow parents who named their children after Game of Thrones characters. It's bullshit.
— Porne of the Dead (@AudreyPorne) April 24, 2017
Sometimes I'll ask my cats like "are you a good kitty?" and they just look at me and my wife will say "answer your father"
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) June 21, 2017
[Meeting of cats]
"Right as you see here on this graph"
[Boss cat takes out laser pointer]
[Meeting erupts into fucking disaster]
— TechnicallyRaarrrghh (@TechnicallyRon) August 21, 2017
Cats are the thinking person's pet - assuming that thought is "I despise myself and need external validation on my worthlessness".
— Nic Healey @PAX 🥃 (@dr_nic) August 26, 2017
Make fun of dogs for being afraid of fireworks all you want, at least they're not like cats who are afraid of shit like the ironing board.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 3, 2017
[cat adoption agency]
Counselor: ...*slowly pushes my application off the counter*
Me: What the hell?
Counselor: You're not ready
— Todd 'Spooki' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) October 24, 2017
Where should I place this banana peel for maximum laughs? The cat's tired of wearing it as a wig.
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) April 30, 2012
90% of having a cat is saying "Where is the cat"
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) September 2, 2017
HUMANS: Here's some food, water, and a lifetime of affection
CATS: Here's my asshole
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) February 17, 2017
"What did we ever do to deserve dogs?" - humans
"Oh, fuck off." - cats
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) February 27, 2017