When you're a cat person, it can be difficult trying to explain the appeal of these creatures who can be equal part cuddly fur-ball and equal part demon that's probably plotting your 'accidental' death.
While dogs are generally described as the best friend of humans, displaying loyalty, love and commitment, cats are often seen as the animal of unstable spinsters and people with unchartered depths of self-loathing. Yet, since ancient times humans have loved and even worshipped cats, so they must enrich our lives and provide companionship, somehow.
We rounded up some of our favourite tweets about cats and our, at times, complicated relationship with them.
(You can check out our favourite tweets about dogs here).
1.
[god making cats]
The cutest face & bodies ever.
"Great!"
In their paws, tiny razor blades.
"Huh?"
And the eyes of that dickhead Satan.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) January 2, 2017
My cat's reached that age where he needs help cleaning himself. Licking his asshole is the worst.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) October 16, 2015
3.
Bestial force unleashed onto the black earth. Countless armies await my command. pic.twitter.com/FKMw7FyqqV
— Black Metal Cats (@evilbmcats) June 29, 2017
4.
she's been screaming at these water droplets for 3 fucking minutes get out of the shower you tiny moron pic.twitter.com/rEw8V6SLCw
— corgi queen (@baz00per) January 11, 2017
5.
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that.
DAD: So you're still single
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 28, 2017
6.
Cats, it must be said, are the perfect pet for people with a real depth to their own self-loathing.
— Nic Healey @PAX 🥃 (@dr_nic) September 27, 2017
7.
Coworker: [shows me pic of her baby]
Me: [shows her pic of my cat] Here's mine.
Coworker: That's a cat.
Me: Cats are just goth babies.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 26, 2017
8.
[at the vet with my cat]
cat: meow
me: i know, that's why i brought you here
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 8, 2017
9.
— 🐈 (@catsu) October 19, 2017
10.
ᶜˡᵒˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵒʳ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ pic.twitter.com/wB7nz8LrsM
— 𓃵 (@lordflaconegro) October 15, 2017
11.
There's a good story behind this gaffer tape, I bet. pic.twitter.com/SMbcgKgYzv
— Tom (@tdawks) May 8, 2017
12.
When you have found a book but have to confront the fact that you do not know how to read pic.twitter.com/YzpfTDmLBL
— frightlight ghost (@sp0ka) October 23, 2017
13.
Home is where the cat smell that everybody notices but you is.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 29, 2015
14.
I bought my mom a book on how to make tiny hats for cats yesterday and she just TEXTED ME THIS PICTURE pic.twitter.com/n1a12QUaG9
— wendy, but spooky (@haganechin) July 15, 2017
15.
On this day in history: my indoor cat went outside for the first time, finally understood his place in the universe pic.twitter.com/TitWOq5O2A
— Willa Köerner 〰 (@willak) June 3, 2016
16.
[at the cat shelter]
Yes hello I'd like to start a tab, please
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 23, 2014
17.
Cats have 9 lives bc that's how many souls they've harvested. To prolong their own life they must take another's
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) March 30, 2017
18.
[god creating cats]
"How about...small dogs that hate everything"
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 1, 2017
19.
apartments in the city won't allow cats, but they'll allow parents who named their children after Game of Thrones characters. It's bullshit.
— Porne of the Dead (@AudreyPorne) April 24, 2017
20.
21.
Sometimes I'll ask my cats like "are you a good kitty?" and they just look at me and my wife will say "answer your father"
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) June 21, 2017
22.
[Meeting of cats]
"Right as you see here on this graph"
[Boss cat takes out laser pointer]
[Meeting erupts into fucking disaster]
— TechnicallyRaarrrghh (@TechnicallyRon) August 21, 2017
23.
Cats are the thinking person's pet - assuming that thought is "I despise myself and need external validation on my worthlessness".
— Nic Healey @PAX 🥃 (@dr_nic) August 26, 2017
24.
Make fun of dogs for being afraid of fireworks all you want, at least they're not like cats who are afraid of shit like the ironing board.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 3, 2017
25.
[cat adoption agency]
Counselor: ...*slowly pushes my application off the counter*
Me: What the hell?
Counselor: You're not ready
— Todd 'Spooki' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) October 24, 2017
26.
Where should I place this banana peel for maximum laughs? The cat's tired of wearing it as a wig.
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) April 30, 2012
27.
90% of having a cat is saying "Where is the cat"
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) September 2, 2017
28.
HUMANS: Here's some food, water, and a lifetime of affection
CATS: Here's my asshole
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) February 17, 2017
29.
"What did we ever do to deserve dogs?" - humans
"Oh, fuck off." - cats
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) February 27, 2017
