15/10/2015 3:41 PM AEDT | Updated 15/07/2016 12:50 PM AEST

Why Women Lie To Themselves And Why They Should Stop

Women can be the most genuine of creatures when it comes to dealing with other people -- honest, forthright and up front. But we can be the biggest liars when it comes to ourselves.

Yes, it's true. On this occasion I'm not lying. But we do lie. We lie about how happy we are and about what we want in our life and our career.

It's as though we think that admitting you want more in life means you're rejecting what you have now. That you've failed yourself or your colleagues, friends and family. You convince yourself that others are happy with less and you should be grateful with what you have.

This "deserve better" could be from yourself, your work or your friendships/relationships. So here are some steps to get yourself out of the guilt-ridden rut of pretending you're happy and start to get more of what you really want. And that starts when you stop lying to yourself.

1. What do you want?

If you could be anything in this world what would it be? A writer? A pilot? An artist? A CEO? Write it down! Don't tell anyone. Just get comfortable with admitting to yourself what it is you REALLY want

2. How badly do you want it?

Mark out of 10 everything you listed in step 1. Anything below an 8 you need to get rid of. Why? Because you need to want what you want so bad that even in your craziest hardest days you will still fight for it and not give up.

3. Create a plan

Now you've finally admitted what you want and how badly you want it you need to create a plan to get it. What are the steps you need to take over the next 12 months in order to achieve your "want"? Don't expect it to happen overnight, but you need to start making strategic choices if you are to achieve that thing you've always wanted.

4. Say no

It's time to start saying no. You no longer have time to waste if you want to change your life and reach a goal you have finally admitted to yourself. No more volunteering or taking on extra projects that are not directly related to what it is that will make you happy.

5. Let go of guilt

We've talked about women and guilt before. You do not have time to entertain the smallest amount if guilt. If you sometimes need to buy dinner instead of making it, so be it. If you're home an hour later each night, so be it. Guilt will only exhaust you, and you'll get enough chances for exhaustion while chasing your goal.

6. Never give up

This means mentally, too. The second you start doubting yourself your body and actions will follow. Do whatever it takes to stay positive and focused. And on track. Whether it's having your goals on a wall, in your wallet or on your phone. Keep your mind on point at all times.