Have you ever wondered what the female version of Man Flu is? Recently, while I had this strain of illness, I arrived at the answer. Let me enlighten you...
It's called "F**k-it-I-don't-have-time-to-get-sick", or better known as "Just-a-Cold".
Let's take a look at the obvious differences...
Husband says: "Aw, Babe. I'm so sick. I think I have Man Flu."
Wife says: "Awwww, Honey. That's no good." While really thinking to herself: "There goes any help I was hoping to get for the next three days!"
Wife says: "Achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo!"
Husband says... Not a f****n lot.
MAN FLU SYMPTOMS
Severe razor blade sore throat.
Severe blah blah chicken.
JUST A COLD
Just a runny nose.
Just a little headache.
Just a little razor in the throat.
Just a little tired.
Just a - oh really who gives a s**t, just get on with your day.
MAN FLU TREATMENT
Strict bed rest for three days straight.
Ring bell for any service you require.
No medication will help as this is the worst flu EVER.
Sex may help relieve symptoms. Actually, sex will definitely relieve symptoms -- briefly.
Go about your normal activities.
And there you have it -- a complete medical evaluation from someone with no medical background whatsoever, unless you can include Band Aid compressions on little knees, life-saving splinter removal from thumbs, and Panadol administrations to mini Man Flu carriers.
Stay healthy, dear Superwomen, there's a Man Flu epidemic!
This blog first appeared on Cristy O'Brien's website.