LIFE
18/02/2020 2:47 PM AEDT | Updated 18/02/2020 2:47 PM AEDT

People Are Having A Viral Debate About This Guy's Behaviour On A First Date

Should this guy have shared one of his two cake pops or nah?

“You must remember this: A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh...” But can we get an edit on that “Casablanca” soundtrack classic that makes it clear that two cake pops are meant to be shared, dammit?!

On Friday, romance novelist Alisha Rai tweeted about a very disappointing date she’d been on the day before. Cake pops figured prominently in her story.

“Yesterday I met a guy for coffee and he asked what I’d like to drink and went and fetched the order,” she wrote. “And he came back with two cake pops and I was like aw that’s cute! and then he ate them both. in front of me. .............so like he’s clearly a monster right” 

More than 350,000 people favorited Rai’s tweet, seemingly confirming the dude’s monster status. But a day after the date, Rai was still thinking of the guy:

One fun, depressing little detail made the story even better/worse:

Naturally, a Twitter debate ensued on this Important Issue Of The Day: Was this cake pop-hoarding man a veritable monster, as Rai suggested? Or should she have just gotten her own damn cake pop?

People in the “he’s a monster” camp were firm in their conviction: 

Others read the anecdote and thought, “Really? What’s the problem here?” 

 

Meanwhile, one guy was so stumped by the story, he concocted an alternative reading of it: 

Eventually, a still cake pop-less Rai responded to her critics. (Also jeez, am I the only one who really, really wants a cake pop now?) 

Who knew cake pops could be so polarising? Given the strong opinions on both sides here, we figured we’d ask dating coaches and etiquette experts what they thought of this guy’s behavior. 

“Honestly, I thought it was rude,” said Marni Kinrys, a dating coach and host of the “Ask Women” podcast. “I’m all for female independence and girl power but this was a date, not a Me Too rally.”

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life,” said double-fisting cake pops would be rude in pretty much any scenario, not just a first date. 

“Whether it was a date or just a friend and you have offered to buy them something to drink, you would also at least offer to share,” she said. “It’s common courtesy.”

Kim Seltzer, a dating coach in Los Angeles and the host of Charisma Quotient podcast, said she’d need to know more about the date before she could label cake pop guy a cake pop monster. 

“It’s not really about ‘sides’ but about knowing the bigger picture,” she said. “Did he get her the coffee he asked about? What was her response and what was communication like in that moment?”

The guy is clearly lacking in social grace, though, Seltzer said. 

“The proper etiquette here is to ask if your date would care for a bite to eat if you are eating as well,” she said. “The sad part for the guy is that he would have totally won her over had he surprised her with that cake pop!”

Indeed. This could have been Rai and her date...

Picture taken by Sebastian Rose via Getty Images
His and hers... but not for the guy in this story. 

...but someone needed two whole cake pops.