The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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i know my friends are hot bc any time we take a pic it looks like i won a raffle contest to meet them
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) May 20, 2020
Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law. It took half a century but Hippies finally won.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) May 16, 2020
americans are treating coronavirus like I treat my period— pretending it’s finished when it is obviously not!
— ziwe (@ziwe) May 19, 2020
man I miss precedented times
— julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) May 18, 2020
I WISH I KNEW WHAT KIND OF MUSIC MY DOG LIKES
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) May 16, 2020
me desperately clicking “leave meeting” so I’m not the last one left with the host
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 20, 2020
Skype really fumbled the bag with a 17 year lead
— Lil riri (@xoxo_riya) May 19, 2020
Me: I hate drama.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 18, 2020
Also me: Reads all 258 comments on a heated Facebook post thread that is 100 percent not my business.
i miss that awkward 30 seconds after leaving the movie theater with someone else where both of u have to announce whether u liked the movie or not but nobody wants to give their opinion first in case they’re wrong
— helen (@helen) May 20, 2020
me after answering one (1) email pic.twitter.com/06GIyoWzb7
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) May 20, 2020
ME: Why can't I sleep?
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 17, 2020
BRAIN: The team put together a PowerPoint of every worst case scenario that could go even more wrong. Dave, can you dim the lights? We'll get started.
he was the gas to my light. the man to my ipulation
— ምኞት (@blanketm9) May 18, 2020
The day begins when I bring my charger from the bedroom into the couch area
— Natalie Walker (@nwalks) May 20, 2020
All I can remember is the flavor of that spoon. pic.twitter.com/NTFlYmF1p8
— Kae Lani (@KaeLaniSays) May 18, 2020
getting emotional thinking about how i am now the adoptive mother of the library books i took out on March 2nd
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) May 20, 2020
Thank you for coming to my TED talk pic.twitter.com/1dI8aqw1U8
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 21, 2020
How come in 90’s movies teens are always at a nightclub like honey we weren’t allowed in nightclubs we were getting yelled at for being too loud in a Fazoli’s
— Meg Stalter (@megstalter) May 19, 2020
I don’t like the idea of penises growing over time but I also don’t like the idea of them starting out full size. ultimately I understand that the right call was made
— Julie Greiner (@JulieAbridged) May 18, 2020
people are so anxious for bars to re-open like they don't know you can charge yourself double for a beer and stare at your phone at home too
— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 21, 2020
What kind of sick perversion is it that I try to get laughs in therapy?
— Alyssa Stonoha (@astonoha) May 21, 2020