The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
Crazy that some people don't need glasses and can just rawdog vision like that
— queen joheen (@queenjoheen) November 15, 2020
Baby carrot inventor: ok so the idea is we make tiny little carrots
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) November 16, 2020
Investor: eh.........
Baby carrot inventor: BUT we make sure they are always soaking wet
Investor: you’ve got yourself a deal
my fave collective lie that everyone has agreed to is when the box of q-tips says "do not use inside ear canal 😉" and we the consumer are like "we won't 😉😉😉"
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) November 15, 2020
I hate when I go out in public and the public be there
— martial 11 (@martialdeyforyo) November 16, 2020
happy birthday to this crazy girly 😜🎂🎉👯♀️ pic.twitter.com/fVETP8nRKR
— badgirIkiki (@badgirIkiki) November 17, 2020
Spreading disease over the Thanksgiving holiday? That’s sooo 1621.
— katie morrissey (@KatieMoNYC) November 16, 2020
pls forgive my student loans. they didn't mean to
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 16, 2020
pro tip: if a man ever wants you to watch one of his boring man movies with him you don’t even have to pay attention just turn to him and go “holy shit” every time the music gets really loud
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 15, 2020
Me on a Zoom call pretending I’m listening and not just looking at myself
— Hannah Tindle (@hannahtindle) November 16, 2020
pic.twitter.com/NzcZhZQvIt
so what are we gonna do with all the daylight we’ve saved ? buy a house??
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 16, 2020
This guy invites me to do Donuts in his car. First there was nothing glazed in there. Also a terrible driver next!
— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) November 16, 2020
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?
— T Raww 🥰 (@TierneyJanea) November 16, 2020
gyms closing again???? I was about to start next week fr this time 🙄 pic.twitter.com/e9ZzW0sSbd
— Danae 🧚🏼♀️✨ (@_daannaaee) November 17, 2020
every sex tape should have an accompanying blooper reel
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) November 16, 2020
It's Sunday. Everyone remember to change into a new outfit for the week.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 15, 2020
Excel has stories now too 😍 pic.twitter.com/022UwhPLHY
— Beatrix Kiddo (@TheLiddoFox) November 17, 2020
my mom and I text like twice a month and this is usually how it goes pic.twitter.com/LqlxEOcdz0
— gaychel (@coochieflop) November 18, 2020
A friend is someone you can text “Do I look good in yellow?” and three dots appear and disappear twice before you get back “No.”
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 17, 2020
a symbol of wealth among pigeons pic.twitter.com/3U6RPCVrin
— Living Morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend) November 16, 2020
i b like idc then throw up from anxiety
— mimis ◡‿◡✿ (@miaasilvana) November 16, 2020