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The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
therapist: how have you been coping with everything
— nash™ (@itsnashflynn) September 7, 2020
me: with sarcasm mostly
therapist: has that been working
me: yeah it's been super great
should i live in new york where people think i’m stupid or LA where people think i’m ugly
— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2020
if i were shania twain, i would tweet “let’s go girls” every single morning for the rest of my life
— Liz Maupin (@LizMaupin) September 7, 2020
Does anyone really see a problem with demon possession? I for two do not.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 8, 2020
Very tempted to start a podcast called “Are You Mad at Me?” just so I have a quasi-reasonable excuse to interview every single one of my friends each week, at length, to determine whether or not they are actually in fact mad at me
— Julia Carpenter (@juliaccarpenter) September 9, 2020
My mom pronounces it “aunt tiffa” and I laugh every time.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 5, 2020
Zac Efron is dating a 25 year old waitress he met while she was working. It’s so hard to see someone else living your dream.
— Claire (@ClaireeeGallxo) September 9, 2020
i don't know if yall feel me but.. september, october, november is the LMNOP of the year
— bby noun (@shutupaida) September 8, 2020
Revealing my baby's gender by crashing a tanker full of pink oil into a delicate coral reef
— Pjörk🐷 (@NicoleConlan) September 7, 2020
online school sucks bc i can’t ask the person sitting next to me what we’re supposed to be doing
— soph (@wacksoph) September 8, 2020
Is “gobble me swallow me” a good caption to use on thanksgiving??
— ✨i won’t you✨ (@carriejjeffries) September 6, 2020
Who are the siblingless people writing “hey sis!” and “hey bro!” into every movie and tv show
— Maybe: Lauren Ashley Smith (@msLAS) September 6, 2020
when i was 22 i dated a guy who was 27 who broke up w me because we were “just at different places in our lives” and then he told me “for example i have to stretch every morning”
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) September 8, 2020
"Are we still on?" - An attempt to cancel
— Gladys Knife (@jewelnotjule) September 10, 2020
I'm not saying I was drunk, I'm just saying that I don't recommend washing paper plates in the dishwasher.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) September 7, 2020
Imagine you miss a payment on a TESLA and it drives itself back to the dealership.
— BAYB❤️❤️❤️ (@DawnKeKe) September 7, 2020
A trust fall but it’s just me taking off my bra
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) September 8, 2020
Lmao they really gave some Americans $1200 n said god bless you on your journey
— ho in this house (@JoellasWorld) September 7, 2020
I just matched with my old Spanish tutor on hinge and messaged him “hola” and he responded “u were always terrible at Spanish” 😭😭😭
— carol(yn) (@ballerguy) September 8, 2020
White managers when they see you eating your ethnic lunch: “Whatcha got there?”
— lele (@orang3_aura) September 8, 2020
