The coronavirus pandemic has altered many aspects of our existence, and our sex lives are no exception.
Some people are experiencing extreme quarantine horniness; for others, sex is the furthest thing from their minds. Some are having bizarre sex dreams, some are playing around with sex toys, and some are reminiscing about their bedroom adventures of yore.
Below, we’ve gathered 27 funny tweets about the reality of sex (or lack thereof) during the COVID-19 pandemic.
If you went through COVID without having sex congratulations you’re a virgin again.
— Christopher (@cehm27) May 27, 2020
This covid mask era is gonna be great for people who have nice eyes and are able to have sex from a distance of 6 feet.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) May 2, 2020
"could a potato battery power a sex toy?" - my girlfriend, day 43782974819637418 of quarantine
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) May 12, 2020
I just got my wife a giant ice coffee from my trip to the outside world so don’t tell me I don’t know a thing or two about foreplay.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 22, 2020
A little quarantine game I like to play is called “Is My Neighbor Having Sex or Working Out.”
— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) April 26, 2020
Don’t worry I’m used to having a meat shortage, my wife said hilariously
— Swim Jeans👖 (@ShortSleeveSuit) May 7, 2020
this time last year I was getting laid and now I’m just sitting here tweeting stupid shit like “this time last year I was getting laid”
— grace spelman (@GraceSpelman) May 10, 2020
I don’t want to bake bread I want to go outside and have sex
— mary beth (@marybethbarone) April 1, 2020
Yeah sex is great but have you ever hung out with people you don't live with
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) April 17, 2020
Quarantine Day ?: Ray Romano sex dream
— Amanda Miska (@akmiska) May 5, 2020
me having sex for the first time after quarantine pic.twitter.com/ho47ykqaBY
— rollie king (@tmaadlhogney) June 9, 2020
my boyfriend just got 2 massive boxes in the mail of different types of canned fish and I would like to change my answer in all the “are you having more or less sex during quarantine?” polls
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 9, 2020
I have not sexted at all during quarantine because sex is like comedy, it's much better live and in person. also because no one has asked me to.
— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) April 29, 2020
My wife has gotten into some pretty freaky sex stuff during quarantine and to be honest it’s really slowing down our bandwidth
— Swim Jeans👖 (@ShortSleeveSuit) April 14, 2020
Wife - Put on your gloves and protective mask.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 16, 2020
Me - Sex used to be a lot sexier.
Yeah sex is cool but have you hired your first post-quarantine babysitter?
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) June 18, 2020
Is a box of chocolate donut holes and sex too much to ask for in this pandemic
— 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 🍯 (@hailtotheHunny) June 14, 2020
My Hot Friends: "I'm going crazy not being able to have sex during quarantine!"
— Casey Malone (@CaseyMalone) June 17, 2020
Me: "Yes, I am also unaccustomed to going 90 days without sex. This is unprecedented. I relate to you, on this."
My husband asked me if I wanted to quarantine myself in our bedroom so I could get some alone time. Is this sex?
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) June 23, 2020
{After sex}
— VodkaAndStringCheese (@VodkaAndCheeze) April 18, 2020
Husband: Want to snuggle?
Me: Ew. What is quarantine doing to you?
Week number exhausted of quarantine: my vibrator just closed its Tinder acct cuz of all the sex we’re having.
— just v¡be (@LVMelL0) April 11, 2020
Watching sex scenes in tv shows hit different during quarantine.
— JabrilTBH (@Jabrilllllll) April 16, 2020
i don’t even have quarantine horny i just can’t stop looking at pictures of bagels online
— rachel (@BUGPOSTING) April 24, 2020
I’ll flatten your curve...
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) March 18, 2020
~Pandemic sext
Husband: *stops during sex*
— Mrs PA-C (@MrsPA_C) May 5, 2020
Me: “what? What’s wrong”
H: “.....you...you... literally have a piece of a cheez it in your belly button”
Me: *starts crying laughing* “wow look at that!”
.....anddddd SCENE
The most quarantine thing to ever happen 😂😂😂😂😂😂
My girlfriend & I tried some shower sex to spruce up our quarantine love life. It quickly became two people in one shower, taking their own showers. She needed to pass me at one point to wash her hair & slapped my hip to move me like a chef yelling “behind” to a waiter.
— Dan LaMorte (@DanLaMorte) May 4, 2020
me single, on my period, and in quarantine thinking about the sex i could never have. pic.twitter.com/cFDhJe4yQ7
— GAP$HAWTY (@themikalaleeann) April 2, 2020
Risky Business: Love And Sex In A Germaphobic World is a HuffPost series exploring the way that coronavirus is changing the way we date, have sex and enjoy intimacy.