From as young as we can remember, we’re told how to behave, think and act from those around us. Our attitude and beliefs are shaped by the environment in which we find ourselves and whether we are aware or not, it influences our decisions later in life.
Tell a child, “you will never amount to anything” and this is the belief they will hold probably for the rest of their life unless they do a lot of work on themselves. Another child who might be born with out much at all or raised around negative influences but is cared, loved and raised by a supportive and encouraging care-giver, is likely to grow up with more self esteem and confidence to achieve more success later in life than those without.
But what about in those situations where we find ourselves at school or in the workplace and we’re constantly being put down, made to believe we’ll never amount to much at all?
Some of us are lucky to have mentors in our parents or guardians or friends to teach us how to respond and navigate through certain difficult challenges. And depending on how we learn to deal with the storms of life, it can either leave us battered and burned and so we give up and accept the situation …. or it gives us incredible life lessons that steer us back on the right path helping us to grow, rely on our own answers and develop a kind of inner strength that allows us to thrive and survive. This is a muscle that is built over time. It’s a lot easier when you grow up in a supportive environment but never the less it can still be learnt.
I’m lucky that I grew up in a stable and nurturing environment but the outside environment was often very different. It felt like I was always getting unlucky and at one point it felt as if I just couldn’t move forward. That was until a few significant events caused me to develop a new perspective and change my mindset and so things improved from there, one step at at time.
I began to realise it wasn’t me or my “attitude” as I was told in a few jobs I had. It wasn’t the fact I was too “nice” and should just “put up with it”. It was the environment and people I seemed to be around that was clouding my true path. I just didn’t know how to gain back control and redirect my path but as soon as I did, it opened up so much more possibility, abundance and freedom in my life ... the kind that gets me excited to wake up everyday.
We are living in very interesting times. More of us are waking up and realising we can live the kind of life we desire. But it does require some work which includes making brave decisions that shed old limiting beliefs, taking the steps to create a life that’s more aligned with who we are and who we want to be.
There are some who feel stuck and miserable where they are. Being conditioned to believe there’s only one way is only an entrapment that prevents many of us from living authentically and with purpose. But there is so much freedom that can be created when you just allow yourself to believe that each day is an opportunity to expand, grow and reach new heights.
After university when I couldn't get a job for a year because the competition was too high, I had a business on the side and it was going great but I thought it was greener on the other side and so I made plans to pursue what I thought was the "ideal path".
That was 2012. And when I did get a break I was told,
I have an "attitude" problem.
I've been verbally abused & humiliated in front of staff and customers.
I've been told if I can't put up with criticism I won't get anywhere in life.
I've been told after asking for feedback "if I give you positive feedback you won't want to improve".
This was all at different workplaces over a period of time. Things just weren't working & I couldn't understand why it kept happening. And I thought the solution was to work harder at my job.
The universe had different plans. I just didn't know it then. If only I stopped pushing or limiting my beliefs to “how it should” be. This only made me feel more frustrated.
But this is what I had to go through to realise I was meant for a different life, a life where my attitude was celebrated!
It only took me my whole life till now to figure it out. I guess I’m lucky though. Some people wait till they’re a lot older to realise they’ve been on the wrong path this whole time. It can sometimes feel so much easier to take on the stories of others, play small and by the rules, then to listen to that inner voice, take risks and be brave.
Each time we walk away from what’s safe or comfortable, we have a chance to finding our own opportunities where we are given the choice to make things happen for ourselves. When we take chances and choose to take a leap towards what feels right for us, that is when things start to flow.
Things really started to change when I discovered the online entrepreneurial space through my first ever blog in 2013. Whilst instinctively I knew I had to find my place in the workplace, I've always found a way to pursue my passions whilst supporting myself. Yes, there are sacrifices along the way. Because to wake up everyday with a smile on your face excited about life is very, very worthwhile.
I wanted to be a freelance marketer, consult others on how they can grow their online business, get paid to write, and work from anywhere on a laptop. so I did. On my terms. And I get to work with some pretty awesome clients who actually value the work I do which is all that I ever really wanted in terms of how I wanted to feel in my career. In the decade I worked in an “office” or “sales” type environment I only ever felt like that once in one job. Which is sad. But I have come to learn it is such a common experience for so many people. Which could be the reason so many of us are becoming their own boss.
For so long I thought there was something wrong with me, that perhaps I was exactly the way generation Y is stereotyped to be like. But It’s not the case. I just hadn’t found my place.
When we make it happen, when we create our own lifestyle not because a boss, a coach, or parent or friend gave you permission, we come into our own power by giving ourselves the permission. Yes you, It's as simple as that.
The last corporate "job" I had in marketing - the boss let me make up my own title. After a disagreement he said "you should be so lucky to have the opportunity to create your own job description, do you know how many people would want that chance" ? I said, I already have .
This is the kind of world we live in now. One in which we get to decide who we want to be and how we want to do it.
These are some of the experiences that have shaped me, and just some of the reasons why I am creating a new blog, yet again starting a new chapter. I guess that is what evolving and growth is all about. Not always comfortable. But necessary to reach our full potential.
Today I embrace my attitude with freedom and courage. I am where I am now doing what I love because I trusted in myself and believed in myself even at times when I was being told to do things differently. And now I feel so blessed to be surrounded by others who celebrate me, for me.
I'll leave you with this...
We are responsible for creating our own realities and the life we want, no excuses. We all experience the same emotions and go through hard times in life but it is how we handle it and respond that matters. And we are always in control. Quit feeding yourself the stories that keep you stuck. Be brave and take that next bold step towards the future you crave. It's the only way to truly live free and courageously, a life you desire.