OK, let’s be clear. These very phallic lipsticks aren’t really a new thing.
They’ve been around since at least 2013, based on Amazon reviews. But after Instagram user prozac_morris posted a photo of them Thursday and BuzzFeed subsequently wrote about them, the veiny products are rearing their glittery heads all over the Internet.
Which isn’t really surprising. Like, get a load of these photos (sorry).
Judging by those Amazon reviews, the penis lipsticks -- made by a company called Mushroom -- are actually pretty good quality. The one complaint people seem to have is that they sometimes get squished in transit. And nobody wants a smashed penis.
While they seem like a perfect item for bachelorette parties or similar events, we’re kinda more interested in just whipping these out for everyday use, if only to see the reactions of scandalized passers-by.
But if you’re too afraid of drawing unwanted attention, don’t worry — like any lipstick, we suspect it will lose its shape soon enough. And if it maintains its rigid form for too long, maybe you should call a doctor.