Bigger isnât always better when it comes to engagement rings.
But that doesnât stop people from making passive-aggressive digs or flat-out rude comments about smaller stones or less conventional styles. Some well-meaning folks might even say things like, âWell, you can always upgrade later!â â assuming the person must secretly be coveting something bigger and better.
But the truth is, many people love their so-called âsmallâ engagement rings â and they wouldnât trade them for anything. Below, 10 women reveal the many reasons their rings are perfect just as they are.
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length. Some respondentsâ last names have been omitted to protect their privacy.
1. I prefer minimalist jewelry to blingy stuff.
âSize isnât everything! Iâm not super into big, flashy jewelry, so my ring is absolutely perfect for me and my personality. Itâs dainty, delicate and totally me. But at the end of the day, itâs all about what makes you happy! And I personally wouldnât trade my ring for anything.â â Breea Anderson
2. The symbol is far more meaningful than the stone itself.
âWhen we talked about getting engaged, my husband wanted to know what type of ring I wanted. The only thing I asked for was for the center stone to be a marquis-cut, if possible, but it wasnât a requirement. I left the rest up to him, as I wanted that decision to be his.
The ring he picked â marquis-cut with a few diamond chips on the side â was small, but it literally takes my breath away every time I look at it. It isnât really the diamond shape or size that ever really mattered to me. Itâs a symbol of the love that my husband had for me and how he wanted to ask me to be his wife and spend the rest of his life with me. To me, itâs the symbol of the beginning of the story of us.
Unfortunately, there are people who are mean-spirited and donât share the same love for my engagement ring as I did. My husband was a landscaper doing back-breaking work and did not make a lot of money doing it, so he researched the most cost-effective place to buy my ring. He found Costco was the best value for his money. When certain people found out he bought my ring at a warehouse store, they called him low-budget and laughed at my ring. Needless to say, those people did not understand the true meaning behind that ring had far exceeded the actual value of the ring. They are no longer a part of our lives.â â Christina C.
3. Itâs practical for my job and so pretty, too.
âMy ring is an 18k white gold vintage diamond set in a petite rose setting with micro-pavĂ© diamonds on either side of the band. Iâm a sign language interpreter, so I canât wear anything too gaudy or distracting, and Iâve never been drawn to flashy jewelry in the first place. My fiancĂ© picked my ring out all on his own, and Iâm in love. Itâs the perfect balance of dainty and sparkle. Beautiful, delicate, and perfect for me!â â Emily T.
4. It works for my active lifestyle â and our grad school budget.
âI love my relatively small (5-millimeter moissanite, equivalent to a half-carat diamond) engagement ring because it works for my life. I am very active, and having a large, high-set stone with lots of prongs would be more trouble than itâs worth. I wanted a ring that I could wear every day, not something I had to take off all the time because it got in my way.
Another reason was cost. When we got engaged, I was in graduate school, and my now-husband and I were on a limited budget. I didnât want to spend a significant percentage of our low income on an engagement ring, so going with a smaller non-diamond ring was the right choice for us.â â Nicole
5. Itâs a family heirloom with a rich history.
âMy engagement ring was handed down from my husbandâs maternal grandmother. She wore it for over 60 years. You canât beat family history and sentiment. Itâs tiny, but a sparkler all the same! I would never consider trading it in or âupgrading.â In fact, if my husband hadnât had a family ring, I would have declined to wear one. A simple wedding band with a special inscription would have been my dream come true.â â Lindsay L.
6. I donât want what everyone else is wearing.
âIâm not one for fancy stones or elaborate rings. I also wanted something subtle, extremely lightweight, and comfortable enough to wear 24/7. I think the symbolism is pretty straightforward without being too cheesy. I mean, I tied the knot, so a knot ring was pretty appropriate. I also got a simple gold band to match.
I received a couple comments about the band being âtoo thin,â which is no oneâs problem but mine if it breaks. However, the comment that irks me the most is when people say, âItâs so differentâ in an endearing but clearly condescending tone. Damn right, itâs different! I donât want what everyone else has. Itâs uniquely me.â â Sarah
7. I like to buck tradition, so no diamonds for me.
âMy inner rebel to society took over me as I began to research engagement rings. I realized what I wanted. Small and no diamonds. My fiancĂ© was confused because isnât a big honkinâ diamond ring worth three months of his paycheck the norm? Not to me. My ring is romantic, dainty and ME. A piece of jewelry doesnât represent the happiness in my relationship. Do what you feel is right for you and ignore everyone elseâs opinions. YOU are the one getting married, YOU are the one wearing the ring, so own it!â â Bridgit Morehouse
8. It belonged to my partnerâs late mother.
âIn 2015, my partner Lynn and I had been together for 17 years. We had been each otherâs family, and each of our families loved us as their own. On Valentineâs Day, we sat on a beach in Santa Barbara. Lynn handed me a lumpy card. Written on one side, was a message asking me to marry her. On the other side, was a lovely tiny engagement ring with a small diamond taped to the card so it wouldnât get lost in the sand.
She told me the story behind the ring as we laughed and cried with happiness. Lynnâs mother had passed away in January. Before returning home from the service, her three sisters took Lynn aside and gave her their motherâs wedding set. They said, âThis is for Autumn. You are not allowed to put it in a drawer.â They hugged their sister and said. âItâs time.â Lynnâs mother would have approved. I cherish my ring as a symbol of not just Lynnâs love for me, but of her familyâs love as well.â â Autumn D.
9. Itâs more aligned with our values as a couple.
âI wear a simple silver band, and my husband has a matching one. We bought them in Thailand and exchanged them in a swim along the beach. We never get comments or any questions. Here in Switzerland, itâs normal, because putting on a show at the expense of diamond- and gold-mining slaves â and at our own expense â doesnât make sense. Something simple and subtle does.
I also read that the size and cost of the ring is studied to be inversely related to the endurance of the relationship. I think that logic is a mantra around here. On that note, a marriage is a state of mind and heart, not a ring, not a wedding, not a contract. If we want something expensive, we splurge on nationwide rail passes, home decor, high-quality fair trade/ethical clothes and food and wellness.â â Emily A.
10. Going into debt over a ring isnât worth it.
âI feel like people nowadays put a lot of emphasis on getting a big, showy ring. Thereâs nothing wrong with liking a big ring, but the love and thought behind the ring is what means more to me. Iâm a fan of dainty jewelry anyways, and I appreciate that my husband took that into consideration when picking my engagement ring out!
Another thing is that my husband and I try to manage our money the best we can, and I canât imagine him being in debt for a ring just to prove that he loves me. To me, a bigger price tag and more diamonds donât equal more love.â â Hannah G.