They say kids don’t come with a manual, but fortunately parents have other resources at their disposal. Perhaps the most helpful one is Google.
From the practical to the absurd, there’s no limit to the information parents seek on Google. And as the funny moms and dads of Twitter have shown, raising kids leads to some pretty hilarious searches.
Below, we’ve rounded up 33 relatable tweets about the things parents Google. Enjoy!
I'm Googling "how to get glitter slime off the dog" if anyone was wondering what kind of parenting adventure I was having today.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 27, 2020
You know you're a parent when you start out your day not checking email but Googling "What do camels eat?"
— Kelly Phillips Erb (@taxgirl) July 21, 2011
So far 90% of new parenthood is frantically Googling swaddling instructions minutes after an exhausted nurse explains it to me yet again.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) September 22, 2017
Have kids so they can ask you things like, "Let me smell your mouth" and you can Google things like, "Is my kid going to kill me in my sleep?"
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) July 21, 2019
Made it to the stage of parenting where I stopped Googling “when will my kids start sleeping through the night,” and started Googling “when will my kids start sleeping in.”
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) May 22, 2020
Being a parent sometimes means googling “betta fish floating sideways but not dead yet” and “how to talk to your kids about death” in the same evening
— ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 13, 2021
Welcome to parenthood. You'll find yourself googling things like, "Do worms have a penis?" Just roll with it.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 14, 2020
My kids won't stop trying to look at what I'm reading on my phone so I just googled "how to return your alien kids to space where they came from" and now we wait
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 11, 2018
I've already googled "toddler exorcism" in case you're wondering how my Monday's going.#momlife #parenting #MondayMorning
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) June 18, 2018
Lordt. My kid said another kid mentioned that the song Watermelon Sugar has "another meaning that is not good for kids to know about" and now I have to go Google this foolishness. pic.twitter.com/sbC6lgiA2r
— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) July 10, 2020
Close to googling: children, can you give them back?
— amil (@amil) March 29, 2020
Husband: Why did you Google "Do more parents become insane in the summer than winter?" *Looks at screaming, fighting children* Him: Oh.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) June 10, 2014
How’s your Saturday night going cause I literally just Googled, “How the hell do I homeschool?”
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) July 19, 2020
Today my parenting journey was kicked off by spending the morning googling how to get bandaid glue off of hardwood floors.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) December 3, 2019
If you've never googled "why didn't the tooth fairy show up?" you're a better parent than me
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 4, 2020
Parenthood: when relaxing after a long day means googling “how to get stink out of a mattress”
— dadpression (@Dadpression) November 11, 2015
Unlocked the "had to Google my son's math concepts" level of parenting tonight.
— Titania Jordan (@titaniajordan) September 13, 2018
If you like googling symptoms at 3am while a small person coughs all over your pillow, you'll love parenting. And coffee.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) September 21, 2015
Parenting, 50 years ago: I have so much to teach you, children.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 1, 2019
Parenting, now: I have so much to Google for you, children.
Someone needs to invent a Google for parents so I don't have to worry about being put on a list when trying to shop for girls' underpants.
— Just Bren Is Fine (@ogbrenna) September 25, 2012
An "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" for new parents called, "Oh, the Weird Shit You'll Google While Hanging Off the Side of the Mattress so Your Screen Doesn't Wake Up the Baby!"
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) July 22, 2020
How did people parent before google? My kids are like "why does lightning happen" and I google it to give them an answer. Maybe this explains why my parents always told me that thunder was "angels bowling on top of the clouds" and shit like that
— The Dad (@thedad) November 15, 2019
Facebook mom groups are just white ladies asking each other things they can google and then every once in awhile posting a photo of a rash
— amil (@amil) November 22, 2020
Every day with a toddler is a new and exciting adventure. Like today I’m googling if it’s possible to unpop a bubble so I can show my screaming 2yo that it is indeed, impossible. #momlife #toddlerlife #parenting
— 🌟MichiMama🌟 (@michimama75) September 16, 2018
If there was a Google For Parents, would "is it bedtime yet?" be the clear cut favourite as most asked question?
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) April 13, 2016
Had to google whether or not a Phoenix was a real bird or not, so yes, I believe parenting is going well here.
— Courtney (@Discourt) November 24, 2012
I just googled THOT and other nonsensical words to try and figure out what this girl is tweeting about my daughter.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 30, 2014
Being a mom is hard.
10-year-old: "Dad, is my math homework right?"
— Finishing Book #2 (@DaddyFiles) May 2, 2018
Me: "Hang on buddy, I just have to check something on my phone."
10-year-old: "Dad, are you Googling how to do my 4th grade math homework."
Me: "Whaaaaaat? No..."#parenting pic.twitter.com/6E54sFDQdU
Husband: How were the kids today?
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) January 30, 2020
Me: Not right now. I’m busy Googling whether or not I can divorce you for neglecting to tell me that your balls housed the literal spawn of Satan.
H: So better than yesterday, cool.
I’m still not a “because I said so” parent but I have become a “because google says so” parent.
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) July 30, 2020
White ladies on Instagram: *crying in a messy bun* This is motherhood!
— amil (@amil) July 14, 2020
Me: *frantically googling 'bari weiss houseguest' so I don't miss the discourse between feeds* This is motherhood!
Homework is basically which parent is better at Google
— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) January 21, 2016
Googling Literally Everything: A New Mom's Story
— Lori Fradkin (@LoriFradkin) December 11, 2015
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