Have you contracted a bad case of baby fever? Need a little convincing that maybe childrearing isn’t the thing for you right now?
You’ve come to the right place! Below, we have 26 tweets that show the not-so-Instagrammable, downright frightening side of parenting. Scroll at your own risk.
My son just “accidentally” dumped an entire bottle of salad dressing over his head so that’s how my night is going.— Niki Lenz (@NikiRLenz) October 1, 2018
Toddler accidentally hits me in the face with a book.— Martha Hampson (@marthie) August 9, 2019
Me: "Oof, that hurt a bit. Can you say sorry?"
Her: "Sorry, book."
Toddler "accidentally" dropped her bowl of cereal. As I shamefully bow down to my knees and wipe up her mess, the toddler looks at me, picks up the bowl, with a flick of the wrist spills the remains. She does this every once in a while to let me know she's still in charge.— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2018
My toddler accidentally punched me in the eye but then cuz I cried out in pain she thought it would be fun to intentionally punch me in the other eye and so I’m cancelling today’s parenting plans.— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 6, 2019
kids are brutal. This little girl I help at the elementary school asked to see a photo of my boyfriend, when I told her I didn’t have one she LOOKED ME UP AND DOWN and said “I see why”. but how’s your day going.— téona michelle 👼🏼 (@teonamichelle4) October 23, 2018
My daughter just accidentally dropped her snotty tissue into my coffee and if that’s not a metaphor for parenting I don’t know what is.— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) January 9, 2020
Toddlers are savage af. When 3 is done talking to her grandparents she doesnt say bye.— Kelly Oh! is writing at 16k words (@KellyOhlert) February 12, 2019
No warning, just "alexa, hang up"
Me: We all make mistakes.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
2y.o eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?”— Steve 🏳️🌈 (@papaneedscoffee) January 28, 2020
Me: “Yeah baby it’s hot, don’t touch.”
2y.o: “Me blow on it for Papa?”
It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2y.o attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half eaten chicken nugget straight into it..
12 year old I babysit just poured chocolate milk on my head b/c I wouldn't let her eat jellybeans for lunch. Never having kids.— Anne Marie Miller (@atmiller94) June 2, 2014
Every time I have baby fever I flashback to when my baby sister shoved her poo in my mouth and I thought it was chocolate because she previously had a chocolate bar in her hand 😭— Nathan (@Nath_S__) January 6, 2019
4: Mommy, you're just like a Disney movie. We should play pretend.— Marl (@Marlebean) April 17, 2014
Me: Aww! Sure!
4:You can be the Beast.
4: Or the fat sea witch!
Mom holding crying baby: He just needs to be changed.— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 5, 2015
Me: Yeah hopefully into a puppy or something quieter.
It’s cute when a non-parent person sees a kid screaming and says, “That’s why I don’t want kids.” Lol. They have no clue— Dianne Gallagher (@DianneGallagher) December 16, 2018