Kids don’t always use the correct words to describe the world around them, but they often come up with hilarious ― and arguably superior ― terms.
Many parents tweet their kids’ funny descriptors and malapropisms, including “chocolate jello” (pudding), “sneeze gravy” (snot), “finger skaters” and “statue of puberty.”
We’ve rounded up 35 funny tweets about the creative names kids give things. Enjoy!
My daughter just called a cemetery a person garden. I'm not even sure what she thinks is happening there.
— Broken Puppet (@java_assassin) June 18, 2020
My daughter calls corn on the cob holders “corn chargers” and I think we should just let 2 year olds name everything from now on.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 27, 2018
My kid just called the statue of liberty the statue of puberty, and this is the content I signed up for when becoming a parent.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 20, 2020
My son calls Toys R Us "Toys Or Else"
— Defund The Police (@ElitatheLibra) November 4, 2012
My four-year-old daughter calls hippos "hippies." We think this is great, especially when she talks about crocodiles eating them.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 18, 2011
My son calls pudding "chocolate jello" and I'm not sure if he's an idiot or a genius.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 8, 2016
My son calls dessert his "bonus round" and I think we should all follow his lead.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 30, 2017
What's cuter? The ice dancers or the fact that my son calls them 'finger skaters?'
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 9, 2014
We had enchiladas for dinner
— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) April 30, 2020
Or as my 6 year old calls them, chickenladders 🤷🏻♂️
My 3-year-old calls my gray hairs "wizard hair."
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 27, 2017
I'm not getting older.
Just more powerful.
This morning my three-year-old called a doughnut a cake bagel so that’s what they’re called from now on.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) February 9, 2020
My 4 year old calls snot "sneeze gravy" and I'm pretty sure that will clinch a full scholarship to Harvard.
— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) February 10, 2015
5: why is it called apple-cado anyway
— hashtagtacos 🌮 (@VicVijayakumar) June 24, 2020
me: no reason
*dying laughing* My daughter...calls...her thighs....LEG HOLDERS.
— Shannon Lin (@mrslin) July 9, 2010
My four-year-old son calls the craft store "the crap store." I don't correct him. He's right either way.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 25, 2016
My son calls winter trees "naked trees."
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) December 24, 2016
My son calls them "please cars" because any time I speed past a cop he hears me mutter "please don't pull me over!"
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 29, 2018
My son calls chicken nuggets "snack chicken" and I think it's high time we all do too.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2016
My 5 year old daughter calls limes "weird pickles" and I feel like that might help someone somewhere. Kids are rad. #Stayathome #Covid19
— Stevie D. She/Her (@TheMudlily) March 21, 2020
My 4-year-old calls Dunkin' Donuts "Drunken Donuts."
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 9, 2016
I was going to correct her.
Then I realized it was the best idea ever for a bakery.
My daughter referred to macaroni penguins as spaghetti penguins and why would I correct her they both sound ridiculous
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 22, 2020
3 YO daughter calls Chuck E. Cheese "Chuck E. Jesus".
— Jason Stay The F*** Home Avant (@PetCobra) May 9, 2011
My daughter calls a single slipper from a pair of slippers a "slip" and I'm never going to correct her.
— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) April 17, 2019
My daughter calls dominoes "don-a-mos" and I can't bring myself to correct her because it's so fucking cute.
— Tim 👊🏿👊🏾👊🏽👊🏼👊🏻👊 (@Playing_Dad) May 25, 2013
My son calls fireworks "the explosion things" and suddenly I almost kind of like fireworks.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 3, 2015
My kid calls short sleeve shirts "up-sleeves." And she's RIGHT.
— Kim Holcomb (@kimholcomb) June 24, 2013
My kid calls those little ornament hangers 'Christmas Hookers' and I have no plans on telling him differently
— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) December 4, 2018
My kid calls ringworm “winghurm” which is so adorable considering the fact that he has ringworm.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) August 2, 2019
My 3-year-old calls corn on the cob porn on the cop and I will never correct him.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 25, 2020
My kid calls dinosaurs vaginasaurs. I don't know what else to say about that.
— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) November 28, 2013
My child still says "brefdisk" instead of "breakfast" and whoever teaches her differently will have never known such a wedgie.
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) September 3, 2015
My 6-year-old daughter called me "Dad Bae" tonight.
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) April 14, 2017
Clearly I've failed her.
the two-year-old calls chocolate chip cookies "chomp chomp cookies" just thought you'd like to know.
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) January 10, 2018
My son calls a dog's snout its beak and I think we all should too tbh
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 2, 2018
My 4-year-old calls our microwave "the pizza heater," and there's nothing to correct because she's right.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2019