For many men, getting older means a receding hairline, thinning hair and other forms of hair loss. According to the American Hair Loss Association, two-thirds of American men will experience some degree of appreciable hair loss by the age of 35.
As with many common life occurrences, balding is the subject of many jokes, gripes and musings on Twitter. We’ve rounded up 33 tweets about going bald, from men who have been through it (and a few from the women who love them).
How long can I say I’m “going bald” before I acknowledge I’ve arrived at my destination
— The Dad (@thedad) June 10, 2019
As a bald guy, nothing makes me happier than when someone gets lice.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) March 12, 2014
"Dad when are you getting rid of your bald spot?" - Patrick my 6 years old son/torturer.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 17, 2018
Think of how fun balding would be if instead of losing hair you kept the same amount of hair & your head just got bigger & bigger
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 23, 2013
at first I hated that I was going bald, but now I think this naturally developing tonsure may be a sign of God's blessings upon me
— Tommy Tighe (@theghissilent) August 13, 2018
I'm not going bald, I'm letting my forehead grow.
— DansGaming (@Dansgaming) August 10, 2019
As I wiped the sweat off my bald head with a dish towel because I ate hot soup, my wife has to be questioning every decision she's ever made
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 14, 2015
My haircut lady today:
— Daniel Jeremiah (@MoveTheSticks) January 9, 2019
“Your hair has really changed since I’ve been cutting it over the last 6 months.”
Me
“How so?”
Her
“I see more of your scalp.”
Me
“That’s a very nice way of saying I’m going bald.”
😂
If you vote me to be God I'll redesign balding patterns to occur on the sides of the head so that you get a cool Mohawk, not a naked scalp!!
— Jack sKelenton (@KelenKeller38) July 21, 2015
the balding optimist refers to his receding hairline as a proceeding bareline.
— Chris Baio (@OIAB) May 3, 2012
Couldn't see without my glasses on and reached for my husband's balding shampoo in the shower, so we are in no way geriatric.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) April 1, 2016
I’ve gone from hoping I get my hair back to simply wishing everyone else goes bald. That’s called “Maturity.”
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) September 2, 2019
No I'm not tired and yes I'm balding. But thank you for letting me know!
— Torrance Coombs (@torrancecoombs) February 17, 2015
Based on this commercial, Hair Club for Men replaces balding men's scalps with the scalps of dead Uncle Jesse dudes from the 90s. Cool!!!
— Anders Holm (@ders808) August 12, 2014
I’m hoping to bring the “half bald, half in denial” hairdo back in vogue.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) March 31, 2019
Being this bald there's a tremendous amount of pressure buying my next bottle of shampoo because it's going to be a lifetime supply.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) February 13, 2012
My niece said I was going bald, so unprompted, she cut off a lock of her hair for me. I hope the scotch tape holds. pic.twitter.com/yRgVHs4t02
— Murr (@jamessmurray) April 20, 2016
"Being bald is your thing, dad." - My 9 year old
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 3, 2015
My (balding) husband told his friend that his hair was turning gray and his friend replied, “yours is turning loose.”
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) July 8, 2018
As a bald guy, a hair in my food is a double "F you".
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) March 1, 2012
I'm not balding. I'm wearing a flesh colored yarmulke
— Jon Ferguson Mohr (@jaymohr37) February 8, 2013
Sometimes I have internal arguments about whether I will have the courage to go fully bald if I start balding...
— Søren Bjerg (@Bjergsen) April 19, 2018
Haircuts are depressing affairs when you're balding. #ThanksGod
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 15, 2010
As a bald guy, I like to walk into barbershops and when they ask if they can help me say, "No, just looking".
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) October 6, 2014
That awkward moment when you're watching tv w/ your pre-maturely balding friend and a Bosley commercial comes on. Yup, that just happened.
— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) December 27, 2012
When are bald spots going to come back in style?
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) April 1, 2015
Stay married for a decade so that instead of dinner and gifts you show your love by adding their balding shampoo to your Amazon Prime order.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) July 30, 2018
As a bald guy I can tell you that Chuck Todd is going bald in the very worst way. No pattern, no start to the recede. It’s like each individual hair made its own decision to stay or fall out without discussing its plan with the others. A true nightmare scenario.
— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) June 27, 2019
“Inside the NBA” on TNT is the most bald-positive show in history.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) May 1, 2018
Ok so what if I embrace going bald and shave my head. EXCEPT the sideburns. No beard. Just sideburns.
— David Turley (@RiotPhreak) March 23, 2019
Sure, there was a time when it was funny to mock people for getting fat or going bald, but that was before any of it was happening to me.
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) April 6, 2019
Welcome to the club. Great thing about going bald is that you never look any older. https://t.co/yWx4piyPj7
— Joshua Rozenberg (@JoshuaRozenberg) January 18, 2018
Of course I go bald right as selfies become a thing.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) January 21, 2018
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