With each passing year of their lives, kids find new ways to keep their parents entertained and on their toes.
Age 8 is proof enough. And when the going gets tough, many parents of 8-year-olds turn to Twitter to lament their frustrations and share some hilarious anecdotes.
We’ve rounded up 40 funny and all-too-real tweets about life with 8-year-olds. Enjoy!
My 8-year-old son told me my veins on the back of my legs are looking better, thus showing me he really knows how to compliment a woman.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 27, 2019
Are you guys aware there’s a debilitating arm fatigue that can render an 8yo unable to do their chores.— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 5, 2020
Tragic I know.
My 8-year-old looked my mom dead in the eye and asked, "How long do you think you'll live, Grandma?"— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 30, 2018
She gets her social skills from me.
My 8 year old just walked up to my 6 year old and with a very poorly concealed hockey stick and said “lemme see your knees real quick”— The Dad (@thedad) December 8, 2018
8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) September 19, 2019
Me: like what?
8yo: like if we don't pick up our room a portal will open and take us to another dimension
Me: well that's what happened to your older brother
8yo: what older brother?
once again, 8yo tricked me into believing she wanted a family movie night, when in fact she only wanted family movie night until the two huge bowls of popcorn were gone; then she peaced out to do some art— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) December 14, 2019
Stop talking trash about my family:— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 11, 2019
My mother is KIND
My father is GENEROUS
My wife is BEAUTIFUL
My toddler is ADORABLE
Our 8yo said “I’m never talking to you again” and I gotta say the next 4.5 seconds were the most peaceful of my adult life.— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) September 25, 2019
8-year-old: You didn't pack chocolate in my lunch.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 14, 2019
Me: You don't need any.
8: What if there are dementors?
Me: *packs the chocolate*
Fear used to be a masked man breaking into my house at midnight. Now it's sending my 8 year old son into a public bathroom alone.— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) April 16, 2013
My 8yo just asked me if I'd rather live with an orange-sized eyeball that was constantly hanging out of its socket or a testicle as big as a car. My answer was: 'go to bed.'— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) August 11, 2019
My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right.— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 16, 2020
8yo: Does water have a taste?— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) January 28, 2020
8yo: Ya, does water taste like anything?
Me: It tastes like water.
8yo: But what does water taste like?
8yo: No, but what does it TASTE like?!
Me: *leaves house and never returns*
Kids watching a movie with some 'adult language'. My 8 year old just said "Good thing we already know all these words." Where's my trophy?— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) March 25, 2013
8yo: the baby put my art in the trash again!— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) September 12, 2019
Me: *looks at camera like Jim Halpert*
My 8yo had a word search for homework, and although he was not able to find all of the assigned words, he did manage to find the word poo 3 times.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 1, 2019
my 8-year old nephew: *tells me a long story*— the drake gatsby 🧙♂️ (@DrakeGatsby) May 10, 2019
me: pretty sure none of that happened, you fucking liar.
My 8 year old who knows the Easter bunny isn’t real but is trying so hard to play along for his younger brother: (out of nowhere) hoo boy I just love how MAGICAL and REAL the Easter bunny is— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) April 20, 2019
My 8yo daughter just walked into the kitchen and said "I'm practicing wrestling, do you have any dolls I can squeeze the heads off of?"— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) June 24, 2019
My 8 year old son to a friend at school drop off this morning -"My Dad looks horrible without a beard!"— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 8, 2014
Me: I’m taking a nap. Ask your dad if you need anything and don’t wake me up unless it’s an emergency.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 5, 2019
8yo: You mean like a fire?
Me: Describe the fire.
Me: How was school?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 18, 2019
8-year-old: I ate my whole lunch.
Me: What about the rest of the day?
8: I thought about lunch.
8yo: “I made a comic today. You know Fortnite? I made something a little bit different. It’s called Fartnite.”— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) January 21, 2020
My 8-year-old masked the smell of his fart by taking off his shoes and this is all you need to know about having a son.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 23, 2019
8 year old me would be so mad if he saw how often I walked past gum ball machines with quarters in my pocket.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 26, 2019
My 8-year-old's "to do" list every day:— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) February 8, 2013
1. Go to school
2. Pretend to be a Jedi
My 8 year old only stayed awake so she could scream out "I haven't taken a shower ALL YEAR!" Dork. (She's going to kill on Twitter.)— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) January 1, 2013
I just heard my 8-year-old make the rule, “No kicking in the face with shoes on.”— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 26, 2018
Safety first in this house.
My 8 year old just saw me struggling to edit two paragraphs, so she got a stack of paper and wrote a whole book to flex on me.— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) August 8, 2019
My 8yo daughter is trying to explain to me why it’s important to handwash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 13, 2019
She did not get this shit from me.
8yo: How come you only cook food that I hate?— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 13, 2018
Me: Well, for starters, I keep a secret recipe book called “Meals Kids Hate”
8 [eyes widening] *whispers* I knew it!
We set up our old iPod in our 8 year old’s room because she wanted to listen to music and it has my playlists on there from a long time ago.— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) August 10, 2019
Tonight she got mad at us and is now in her room blaring Nirvana.
It’s pretty awesome.
8yo: can I tell you something?— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) December 13, 2019
8yo: *starts telling me something*
I yelled at someone for cutting me off while driving today and my 8 year old asked if they were from New Jersey. I've never been prouder— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) July 29, 2019
Me: *doing sit-ups*— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 20, 2019
8-year-old: Does that hurt?
Me: *grunting* Yeah.
8: Then stop.
My 8 year old suddenly loves Owl City and I don’t know how to tell him that I hate the fireflies song. I could handle 100, maybe 1000, but 10000 fireflies sends me right over the edge. Too many! A plague!— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) June 3, 2019
Me: Go practice piano.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 1, 2019
Me: It will wake up your sisters.