With each passing year of their lives, kids find new ways to keep their parents entertained and on their toes.
Age 8 is proof enough. And when the going gets tough, many parents of 8-year-olds turn to Twitter to lament their frustrations and share some hilarious anecdotes.
We’ve rounded up 40 funny and all-too-real tweets about life with 8-year-olds. Enjoy!
My 8-year-old son told me my veins on the back of my legs are looking better, thus showing me he really knows how to compliment a woman.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 27, 2019
Are you guys aware there’s a debilitating arm fatigue that can render an 8yo unable to do their chores.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 5, 2020
Tragic I know.
My 8-year-old looked my mom dead in the eye and asked, "How long do you think you'll live, Grandma?"
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 30, 2018
She gets her social skills from me.
My 8 year old just walked up to my 6 year old and with a very poorly concealed hockey stick and said “lemme see your knees real quick”
— The Dad (@thedad) December 8, 2018
My 8 year old son is a budding scientist and he has shared with me this graph of the most powerful substances in the world pic.twitter.com/KU8rNqPZWZ
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) May 23, 2019
8yo: I feel like you're always making up rules and stuff
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) September 19, 2019
Me: like what?
8yo: like if we don't pick up our room a portal will open and take us to another dimension
Me: well that's what happened to your older brother
8yo: what older brother?
Me: exactly!
once again, 8yo tricked me into believing she wanted a family movie night, when in fact she only wanted family movie night until the two huge bowls of popcorn were gone; then she peaced out to do some art
— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) December 14, 2019
Stop talking trash about my family:
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 11, 2019
My mother is KIND
My father is GENEROUS
My wife is BEAUTIFUL
My 8yo
My toddler is ADORABLE
Our 8yo said “I’m never talking to you again” and I gotta say the next 4.5 seconds were the most peaceful of my adult life.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) September 25, 2019
8-year-old: You didn't pack chocolate in my lunch.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 14, 2019
Me: You don't need any.
8: What if there are dementors?
Me: *packs the chocolate*
Fear used to be a masked man breaking into my house at midnight. Now it's sending my 8 year old son into a public bathroom alone.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) April 16, 2013
My 8yo just asked me if I'd rather live with an orange-sized eyeball that was constantly hanging out of its socket or a testicle as big as a car. My answer was: 'go to bed.'
— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) August 11, 2019
My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 16, 2020
8yo: Does water have a taste?
— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) January 28, 2020
Me: Taste?
8yo: Ya, does water taste like anything?
Me: It tastes like water.
8yo: But what does water taste like?
Me: Water!
8yo: No, but what does it TASTE like?!
Me: *leaves house and never returns*
Kids watching a movie with some 'adult language'. My 8 year old just said "Good thing we already know all these words." Where's my trophy?
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) March 25, 2013
8yo: the baby put my art in the trash again!
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) September 12, 2019
Me: *looks at camera like Jim Halpert*
My 8yo had a word search for homework, and although he was not able to find all of the assigned words, he did manage to find the word poo 3 times.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 1, 2019
my 8-year old nephew: *tells me a long story*
— the drake gatsby 🧙♂️ (@DrakeGatsby) May 10, 2019
me: pretty sure none of that happened, you fucking liar.
My 8 year old who knows the Easter bunny isn’t real but is trying so hard to play along for his younger brother: (out of nowhere) hoo boy I just love how MAGICAL and REAL the Easter bunny is
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) April 20, 2019
My 8yo daughter just walked into the kitchen and said "I'm practicing wrestling, do you have any dolls I can squeeze the heads off of?"
— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) June 24, 2019
My 8 year old son to a friend at school drop off this morning -"My Dad looks horrible without a beard!"
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 8, 2014
Me: I’m taking a nap. Ask your dad if you need anything and don’t wake me up unless it’s an emergency.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 5, 2019
8yo: You mean like a fire?
Me:
8yo:
Me: Describe the fire.
Me: How was school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 18, 2019
8-year-old: I ate my whole lunch.
Me: What about the rest of the day?
8: I thought about lunch.
8yo: “I made a comic today. You know Fortnite? I made something a little bit different. It’s called Fartnite.”
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) January 21, 2020
My 8-year-old masked the smell of his fart by taking off his shoes and this is all you need to know about having a son.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 23, 2019
8 year old me would be so mad if he saw how often I walked past gum ball machines with quarters in my pocket.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 26, 2019
My 8-year-old's "to do" list every day:
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) February 8, 2013
1. Go to school
2. Pretend to be a Jedi
My 8 year old only stayed awake so she could scream out "I haven't taken a shower ALL YEAR!" Dork. (She's going to kill on Twitter.)
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) January 1, 2013
My 8 year old Michael’s letter to Santa. #7 “A lot of queso”. #christmaslist #smartkid pic.twitter.com/MbqTZ8lBFc
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 12, 2019
I just heard my 8-year-old make the rule, “No kicking in the face with shoes on.”
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 26, 2018
Safety first in this house.
My 8 year old just saw me struggling to edit two paragraphs, so she got a stack of paper and wrote a whole book to flex on me.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) August 8, 2019
My 8-year-old came over and showed me what he wants to get my husband for Father’s Day. pic.twitter.com/AhxO4w4mI4
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 10, 2019
My 8yo daughter is trying to explain to me why it’s important to handwash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 13, 2019
She did not get this shit from me.
8yo: How come you only cook food that I hate?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 13, 2018
Me: Well, for starters, I keep a secret recipe book called “Meals Kids Hate”
8:
Me:
8:
Me:
8 [eyes widening] *whispers* I knew it!
We set up our old iPod in our 8 year old’s room because she wanted to listen to music and it has my playlists on there from a long time ago.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) August 10, 2019
Tonight she got mad at us and is now in her room blaring Nirvana.
It’s pretty awesome.
8yo: can I tell you something?
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) December 13, 2019
me: no
8yo: *starts telling me something*
I yelled at someone for cutting me off while driving today and my 8 year old asked if they were from New Jersey. I've never been prouder
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) July 29, 2019
Me: *doing sit-ups*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 20, 2019
8-year-old: Does that hurt?
Me: *grunting* Yeah.
8: Then stop.
My 8 year old suddenly loves Owl City and I don’t know how to tell him that I hate the fireflies song. I could handle 100, maybe 1000, but 10000 fireflies sends me right over the edge. Too many! A plague!
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) June 3, 2019
Me: Go practice piano.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 1, 2019
8yo: No.
Me: It will wake up your sisters.
8yo: Okay!