Vanessa Bryant is revealing the complex emotions she has been experiencing since the sudden and shocking deaths of her husband, NBA legend Kobe Bryant, and their 13-year-old daughter, Gianna “Gigi” Bryant.
On Monday, the grief-stricken mother and widow posted a heartbreaking message to Instagram in which she admitted she has been “reluctant” to write about her feelings, but wanted to do so to help others who may also be grieving the loss of a loved one.
“My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” she wrote alongside a montage of Gianna playing basketball and Kobe proudly supporting her. “I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me.”
“It feels wrong,” she continued. “Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity? I’m so mad. She had so much life to live.”
Bryant then points out the difficulty of being devastated while trying to remain a supportive mother for her other children.
“Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters,” she wrote. “Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri.”
Bryant then put all of her feelings into perspective.
“I know what I’m feeling is normal,” she wrote. “It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over.”
Last week, the 37-year-old mother shared a series of heartbreaking images and videos featuring the jersey retirement of Gianna, who like her father, was a talented basketball player.
Kobe and Gianna Bryant were killed in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California, last month alongside seven other people.
“Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy,” Vanessa Bryant concluded her post on Monday. “Please continue to pray for all.”