I did something incredibly brave today. In fact, I did something that has never been done before by a female presenter in the history of TV news broadcasting -- at any news desk, in any studio, anywhere in the western world. Big call, I know. But it's true.
It didn't involve a live cross to Bashar Al Assad in the Syrian war zone. Or an exclusive interview with Donald Trump on Air Force One. I didn't manage to make Sean Spicer sound good. It wasn't a journalistic scoop, or even a hard-hitting editorial.
No, from this day forward perhaps my greatest legacy to the annals of female news broadcasting history will likely be that I dared to wear the same outfit two days in a row on national TV.
That's right: same outfit, consecutive days. On national TV.
Take that, Barbra Walters, Liz Hayes, Diane Sawyer, Sarah Ferguson, Katie Couric and Leigh Sales. You call yourselves journalistic trailblazers? Meh...
In fact, what I did today by washing and re-wearing the same maroon top and white skirt two days in a row was -- up to this point -- an idea so laughably unthinkable that I dare say no female presenter in the six-plus decades of, you know, female presenting, has ever even entertained the idea before. And God help any wardrobe stylist who might have dared to suggest it.
Why did I do such an outrageous thing?
Well, because I had just been BUSTED for an only slightly less grave fashion crime -- stop me before I kill again -- so why not go the whole hog? Yes, dang that dastardly, eagle-eyed investigative team at the Daily Mail had already gone and blown my fashion recycling cover!
As they so accurately and exclusively reported in breaking news yesterday morning, shortly after our show went to air, the top in question was one I had worn on air BEFORE.
Yes, I'm ashamed to admit I originally wore the maroon blouse with its "strategic cut-out above the bust" (let's face it folks, it was almost a bikini), just four months prior. As in, before Christmas. In 2016. Or, let's just work this out for a sec... oh yeah, about 125 outfits ago.
I know. What WAS I thinking?
So what's a girl to do? The only thing this (stubborn) girl could do under the circumstances... wear that baby again! So this morning I did. Hence my claim to fashion-broadcasting fame.
And sure enough, like Sherlock Holmes in overdrive, the Daily Mail were on to me in an instant. "So nice she wore it thrice!" the headline screamed, next to all the pictures proving that, right behind Sherlock, the Daily Mail Fashion Police had moved in for the kill and collared me. AGAIN!
And don't worry, I know what you're thinking right now (apart from exactly what sort of strategy did I have in play when I placed that cheeky cut out so strategically above my bust -- answer: beggared if I know!).
You're thinking I should be outraged, right? You're thinking what sort of bloody 'news service' keeps a daily log on what outfits I wear when, and how often, and then comes up with 400 words of gotcha! purple prose of we-saw-what-you-did-there-Lisa. Nuh-uh-uh! Not letting you get away with THAT one...
Until my next woopsy moment comes along.
You're thinking I should be up in arms. You're thinking I should be giving them what for, or as one person wrote on my Instagram "for being so bloody vacuous and irrelevant with the sort of meaningless tripe they serve up on a daily basis".
Well, I'm not. In fact, today I am thanking the Daily Mail. For proving once and for all what we know to be true. You see, I'm the gal that sits next to the guy who wore exactly the same suit on air every weekday for a whole year. Every single day. And no-one noticed.
But let a woman try that on... TWICE?
Not on your Nelly!
Meanwhile, in Syria...
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