So, it seems I'm part of this club.
I don't remember signing up for it -- but it appears anyone can join, all you need to do is have a kid and you're automatically accepted, you don't even have to ask. You don't receive a t-shirt or a welcome letter but you do receive snarky judgmental comments on your parenting style and every choice you make as a mother. Each action is neither right nor wrong. But you'll be judged for it anyways. This club doesn't discriminate; it judges all types of mums.
From my short time in the Judgey Mums' Club, I have found a list of requisites that label you as a 'bad mum' or open you up to judgement.
You will be judged if you:
Are a working mum
Stay at home mum
Working from home mum
Mums who go to the gym
Mums who have a social life
Mums who don't have a social life
Mums who get their nails done
Mums that don't
Mums that wear makeup
Mums that don't
Mums who have their kids in daycare
Mums that don't have their kids in daycare
Mums with one child
Mums with many children
If your kids have a routine
If your kids don't
If you feed your kids homemade foods
If you feed your kids processed foods
If you breastfeed
If you bottlefeed
If you have your kids in sports clubs
If you don't have your kids in sports clubs
If you watch 'The Bachelor'
If you don't watch 'The Bachelor'
Okay, I think you get my gist...
This is 0.5 percent of the comprehensive list -- safe to say if you have a kid you're being judged.
So far, I've been in this club for a total of 17 months and have to say I'm not enjoying it in the slightest. It seems no matter what you do as a mum, there will always be someone who disapproves and labels you a 'bad mum', 'a selfish mum', basically any kind of negative adjective ending with the word 'mum'.
MORE ON THE BLOG:
Social media has opened up a whole new platform for judgey mums to place their opinions on your life. It seems if you talk about how amazing being a mum is all the time you're not being 'real' and if you open up about the hardships of motherhood you're not 'grateful'.
I know personally, as a blogger, when I choose to open up about parts (let me emphasise parts) of my life on social media I get a lot of judgement. I cop negative comments for keeping myself fit and healthy, and also, it seems because I get clumps of acrylic nails stuck on my fingers every three weeks I'm a bad mother.
Sounds bizarre doesn't it?
I never realised getting clumps of acrylic glued onto my nails affected so many people.
Since when did becoming a mum mean I can't make myself feel good or even feel human anymore. Is there a middle ground? Why are we making it so hard on one other when we're all just trying to do our best?
You see, I'm one of those members who I guess is the underdog. I'm a mum who doesn't judge other mums. I don't feel the need to comment on their parenting styles and choices because, guess what, it doesn't affect me and I honestly don't give a shit.
I am someone who believes that you should not judge anyone unless you walk a mile in their shoes... which is impossible, so just don't. I invest my energy into my family and my life and don't waste it judging others. I can't please every single person in this club but I can do what is best for my child and my family.
I'm starting a new club, it's called the 'You club'. There is only one member.
This is a club where you focus on yourself and your family and that's it. Pretty simple. What if we take all that energy which is used for judging others and invest it into our own lives? Once we've all mastered this, we could even start using the energy to support one another and just be positive people.
Heck, that's why it's called motherhood -- it should be more like a friendly neighbourhood (not the 'Desperate Housewives' kind) where we all help each other and rise above our differences in parenting because we all have much better things to invest our time and energy into: our children and ourselves.
So, I'm not sorry to say to the Judgey Mums' Club that I formally discharge myself and officially don't give a shit about judgement from your members.