1. You don't ask me how work is going
You know I spend a lot of time at work and don't want to spend my free time recapping it. But if something genuinely interesting happened to me at work, I'm sure it will come up in our conversation. Instead, you ask me what I'm currently passionate about.
2. You don't inform me about the weather
Why? Because you know that I am hot/freezing too -- the temperature today is not a secret. The umbrella I'm carrying indicates that I'm already aware that it is raining outside. So you know there is no need to tell me "it's hot today", and I don't need to agree. Instead, you ask me what music I've been listening to this week.
3. You don't interrupt
I enjoyed listening to you and really appreciated that you heard me out too. It makes it a two-way conversation. When people interrupt to keep talking about themselves, I feel like it's irrelevant for me to be there. But when I get a chance to finish my point or story, it's not frustrating and I feel like I've communicated what I wanted to. It makes for better interaction.
4. You don't quote 'The Simpsons' at every opportunity
As fun as it was to hear Homer say his goofy little comment, I love that you make me laugh with your own clever comments instead of being a Simpsons jukebox.
5. You don't tell stories about how "we were soooo drunk..."
Those stories are always boring. People who are drunk think they are hilarious. If you aren't fun sober, you aren't fun drunk.
6. You haven't been complaining about trivial things for the last 20 minutes
Sure, bad stuff happens to everyone. Everybody has to deal with rude people. But I'm glad that we don't get bogged down in it, there's more to life than wallowing. Instead, you told me about the highlight of your week, we had some laughs and I got a good buzz from chatting to you.
7. You give me food for thought
You ask me questions that make me ponder and ruminate. The conversation replays & continues in my head long after you've left.
8. You aren't using social media while we are talking
I like that when we're together we interact with each other instead of browsing on our phones. This is our space, not cyberspace.
9. You aren't defensive
You don't feel threatened if I have a different opinion. You can discuss an alternate view to mine with intelligence & respect. We may still disagree with each other, and that's okay because I like seeing things from your point of view. And when you are evidently wrong, you admit it rather than trying to salvage your pride.
10. You aren't vapid or inane
This isn't an episode of 'Gossip Girl' and you aren't keeping up with a Kardashian. Instead, we talk about stuff that is interesting or meaningful.
11. You realise our conversation is an exchange, not a competition
I talk to you because I like talking to you, not because I am trying to one-up you. It's great to hear your thoughts, we have nothing to prove here.
12. You don't deflect questions
You don't give non-answers to honest questions as a way of making yourself feel smart. You know that not everything needs to be answered with a joke, and that it's good to be serious sometimes.
13. You aren't afraid to be real with me
I love that it's okay to have a conversation which may reveal a side that will make us look vulnerable. Vulnerability is the key to great friendships. It builds trust and helps me get to really know you. And I love that we can discuss something that actually matters.