25/03/2016 2:21 AM AEDT | Updated 15/07/2016 12:51 PM AEST

Dear Mr Zuckerberg, What On Earth Were You Thinking?


Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

On a recent visit to 'The Book', I couldn't help but notice you had introduced 'reaction' buttons. Along with the good old 'like', we now have 'love', 'haha', 'wow', 'sad' and 'angry'. Obviously, my first question is, where is 'Doc' and 'Sneezy'? My second question is, just what the hell were you thinking?

I get it, Mr. Zuckerberg. I really do. You want to make our FB experience as fuss-free as possible. Agreed, there are some posts where 'like' just doesn't cut it... e.g. My aunt just died. 'LIKE!' And typing a condolence message from your smart phone, with those infuriating little buttons, can be downright time consuming, sometimes embarrassing... e.g. 'So sorry to hear about your @unt.'

We've all be there, right?

At first I thought the new buttons were a great idea. My excitement soon turned to horror when I found myself asking, 'Should I WOW this?', 'Does this post make me feel SAD or ANGRY?', 'Do I LOVE it? Really LOVE it?' And the most difficult question of all, 'Is this post worthy of a HAHA?'

I was distressed, Mr. Zuckerberg. Highly distressed. (I looked for a button, but there wasn't one.) You were forcing me to rate my friends' posts! This disturbing realisation was further cemented when I posted my own funny, nay hilarious, anecdote and only two percent of the total clicks received were 'haha.' Two percent, Mr. Zuckerberg! This is not a good hit rate. I much preferred living under the illusion that I am funny than the reality of being two percent funny.

You have taken that illusion away. It's gone.

Finally, I don't think you realise the broader repercussions of what you have done. I ask you, just what do you think is going to happen to the 'LOL'? It's headed for extinction, Mr. Zuckerberg, because what idiot wants to take the time to write 'LOL' when they can just press the 'haha' button?

History will not be kind to you, Mr. Zuckerberg. You will not be remembered as the man who brought us Facebook, but instead as the man who killed the 'LOL'! How does it feel to have blood on your hands?

I don't want to rate my friends' posts and I definitely don't want them to rate mine. Sometimes, all we want is freedom from choice.

Apologies for the rant, but I felt the need to offer my two percent's worth. Lol.