Welcome to Campaign Watch, HuffPost Australia's wrap-up of all the election silliness, social media snafus and stuff-ups. We're at day one of a 54-day campaign, and things have kicked off in suitably silly fashion. Let's get to it.
This Little Pollie Went To Market...
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull kicked off the first hours of the election campaign at a Brisbane fruit market, meeting vendors and shaking hands. He seemed incredibly stoked to see the watermelons.
First campaign watermelon pic.twitter.com/qWIL5Indzu— andrew meares (@mearesy) May 8, 2016
Onions, however? Unlike his Prime Ministerial predecessor, not so much.
The PM did not eat a raw onion pic.twitter.com/hxAhndWKYf— andrew meares (@mearesy) May 8, 2016
Rainy days and Mondays
Speaking of Tony Abbott, the Member for Warringah was in full-on local campaign mode on the first day of the election. Abbott stood at the Manly ferry wharf in a Sydney drizzle, handing out pamphlets to morning commuters.
"Don't talk to me or my son ever again"
Elsewhere on the campaign hustings, Labor leader Bill Shorten proudly showed off his brand new toy -- a bus with a giant photo of his own head on it. He's spruiking Labor's "100 positive policies" catch-phrase, with a big red rubber stamp right next to a ten-foot tall rendering of his own face.
"Big Bill" and "Little Bill" caught up for the first time in Cairns, as the opposition leader also kicked off his campaign in the Sunshine State.
Pun and games on the trail
If you were wondering who would make the first terrible pun of #AusVotes 2016, Tasmanian Liberal MP Andrew Nikolic has your answer: it's him, with this absolute groaner.
Your "handy guide"
Still not sure who to vote for on July 2? The next eight weeks will probably help solidify your choice, but if not, the Daily Telegraph newspaper has this *helpful* cheat sheet.
The Sky Warrior
Remember Dennis Jensen? The Western Australian MP who wrote that book about a fictional war between Australia and Indonesia and China, complete with a very graphic sex scene that turned him into a national joke and saw him dumped for pre-selection for his safe Liberal seat? Well, he's back, and running as an independent.
"I am making a stand against the faceless men and women in the Liberal Party who pervert the process and Liberal ideals," Jensen announced on Monday.
"There's no risk of Labor winning this seat with me."
He said he wouldn't be resigning from the Liberal Party, and may even direct his preferences to the actual Liberal candidate, Ben Morton. However, Jensen has spent some of his recent down-time lobbing grenades at the party that dumped him, so don't expect any love to be lost between him and the Liberal candidate during the campaign:
Liberal MP Dennis Jensen, who lost pre-selection, launches extraordinary attack on his Finance Minister pic.twitter.com/KofvwaJadZ— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) May 5, 2016
Enrol to vote, have your say, get a sausage
With the election campaign now in full swing, it's important to remember that you get to, you know, actually vote at the end of all this. Almost one MILLION Australians are not enrolled to vote, including 18 percent of 18 to 25 year olds. For info on how to enrol to vote, click here.
Keep calm and carry on
And most importantly of all, just relax and don't get too stressed yet, because there's still 53 days to go...