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My Ideal Body Has A Burger Inside It

There are a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels.
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Burgers make me happy, and being happy is what's important.
wundervisuals via Getty Images
Burgers make me happy, and being happy is what's important.

Back in 2009, British supermodel Kate Moss uttered the words: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Now, obviously this statement is very problematic, but I think Jennifer Lawrence addressed it best with this response: "I can think of a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels -- potatoes, bread, a philly cheesesteak and fries."

And to add to that, can I just say: "Nachos, pizza, wine and hot dogs." In fact, Kate Moss, I would say that my ideal body always has a burger inside it.

My best life is lived when I don't have to hold myself to a strict diet.

Listen, I have been on diets before. The soup diet, no carbs, less sugar, ONLY vegetables, lunge while you walk (is this a thing?) -- and I was miserable every single time.

People kept promising that I would gain all of this magical energy just by cutting carbs out of my life, but what I gained instead was extreme jealousy of anyone eating a sandwich.

And please know that I'm not trying to shame anyone who just straight up loves eating vegetables here (although ... have you tried cheese? I'm worried about you...) I'm just saying that for me, personally, my best life is lived when I don't have to hold myself to a strict diet that has me counting down the minutes until the earth swallows me whole.

In the '90s, as a model Kate Moss was burger than Ben Hur.
CARL COURT via Getty Images
In the '90s, as a model Kate Moss was burger than Ben Hur.

I'm not a dietician. I am a stand up comedian and writer. So legally, I am probably the last person that should be handing out health advice.

But what I can say for certain is that your mental health is more important than meeting society's expectations of a perfect body. You don't need someone such as Kate Moss telling you that you'll be happier if you're thinner.

The idea that cutting out every single food you love will make you feel better than being fat is absolutely ridiculous and I would say more harmful than helpful.

It's rubbish. Certainly we can all try to be the best versions of ourselves . Get out and walk a bit! Exercise can be fun... ish. But don't kick yourself if you blow off some steam by eating a bag of chips every now and then.

The idea that cutting out every single food you love will make you feel better than being fat is absolutely ridiculous and I would say more harmful than helpful.

Eating yourself into a food coma every day probably isn't the healthiest thing to do, but cutting "bad foods" out of your diet FOREVER is a bummer of a goal to have.

We're all going to die one day , and honestly, I'm going out with a Whopper inside of me.

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This post first appeared on The Slant.

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