Starting a new job is daunting. No matter how high your confidence levels usually sit, you will wake after a broken sleep to an alarm that feels like it has been set four hours too early and it will take you 55 minutes longer to get ready than it usually would.
The equally interesting and intimidating part of commencing a new career is scoping out your colleagues, and most importantly, your new boss.
A seasoned job jumper can usually gauge the personality of their boss within the first three minutes of their introduction meeting. There are eight distinct types.
The Best Friend
The boss who wants to be best friends requires the most emotional energy. Everything is 'we' based and 'us' orientated. Did someone say out-of-hours socialising and knowing far too much detail about their intimate life?
The Unpredictable Boss
The unpredictable boss is the most feared. The poor person reporting to an unpredictable boss usually kicks off their day in a cold sweat. They can never predict what mood will walk through the door. Will they be going out for a free boozy lunch? Or will they be lectured about filing the 'B' folders in 'C' eight months ago. Having an unpredictable boss is not for those who don't like to live on the edge.
The Glory Hog
No matter how many hours of overtime you pull, no matter how much of their slack you pick up, you will always feel frustrated and insignificant. You won't have a voice in meetings and you won't receive credit -- for anything. People with glory hog bosses aren't working for a company, they are solely working for (or doing the work) of their manager.
The dictator boss is predictable, but easy to please. You just need to do what they say and to not complain about it. No matter how erratic it is, no matter how much time or resources the task wastes, it is vital to be a yes man or woman. Your opinion will never be respected, so keep it to yourself.
The Kool-Aid Drinker
Team bowling dates, matching shirts and speaking in acronyms. Bosses that drink the company Kool-Aid live and breathe the organisation's values. They have them written on their bathroom mirror to be repeated each morning. So should you.
The Negative Nancy
There is nothing more draining in a workplace than someone who brings it down consistently. Office gossip and fake smiles are mandatory in workplaces, but avoid negativity, it is contagious. It will drag down your day (and potentially your personal life), and forming an alliance with a negative boss is a sure-fire recipe for colleague segregation.
A conference, a school pick up, or maybe it's just time for a Tuesday sleep in -- until 2pm. The MIA boss is the most favoured. They usually aren't present because they have found the golden loophole. One where they don't actually have to produce any work and one where they can come and go as they please. These people work smarter, not harder. Always aspire to be the MIA.
The One That Got Away
On the bright side, everyone always has that one boss who still affects them. Who they still think about. Who still emails them to see how the tomatoes are going this season. This boss was an angel who fell straight from the sky and into an office. Unfortunately, everyone only gets one and you will spend the entirety of your career without them in mourning.
A boss should be a role model and someone to aspire to be. Recognising the key traits of yours can help you place your feet on the rungs of the ladder. If you merely mimic your bosses every characteristic, (because,they're a boss, right?) then you could be lining yourself up like a bowling pin on the destructive path to failure.
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