Let's be honest, there are only two types of travel in this world.
There are the authentic, real-world experiences that challenge and change you for the better. The kind that will have you up at 4 am watching the stars twinkle from inside a 16th Century castle ruin that you had to hike over wet marches to reach and only really knew about because a couple you exchanged emails with told you about it over a game of cards.
And then there's the way Beyonce travels**.
Y'know the kind we mean -- the A-List escapes that manage to merge Insta-worthy crystal clear blue vistas with canopy beds, private butlers and personal chefs serving up healthy but satisfying macrobiotic fare.
While the first kind only requires a sense of adventure, camaraderie and a hunger for the new, all you need to try the latter type of ultra Bey-worthy vacation is a smartphone and a bit of money.
And when we say a bit, we really mean... Quite. A Bit.
COACHELLA (By Private Plane)
Any self-respecting star with an album/movie/vegan diet to promote knows that an annual pit stop to the California desert is must-do for credibility points. But, if you're Beyonce, you're not going to pile into a mini-van after pooling together enough coins from beneath the sofa cushions for gas money. You going to take a private plane from someone like Private Fly.
Last year was a record-breaking time for the Coachella jet set, and when it's only $4,130 for 43 minutes, why wouldn't you save yourself a car-ride sing-along in the traffic jam from LA to Indio? Although showtunes with Bey in the back of car might not be too shabby. The Private Fly Pilatus PC-12 includes 9-seats for you and your entourage and more than enough baggage space to fit all your boho-inspired Free People kimonos.
The luxe doesn't stop once you land though. You're going to need a plush palace to lay your head down after rocking the day away with the hipster set. Luckily The Parker Palms Springs is more than eager to take your hard-earned beauty spokesperson cash. Like an oasis in a desert of mid-range hotels, The Parker shines with all its upscale glory. Private access suites here will set you back around $1000 per night but include a private garden, museum inspired art collection and direct access to the hotel's saltwater pool (chlorine is for commoners).
Everyone knows the line for the Louvre is a harrowing experience of first-world proportions. You're stuck there, most likely sweating, worried that someone might be nicking your wallet out of your backpack but you really can't tell because you're jostled up too close to everyone.
It's in those times you should look inwards and consider 'what would Beyonce do?'. As we've already established you have a choice between doing things to normal way or the Bey-way. And the Bey-way definitely includes dropping 200 Euros on a private tour, such as one from Art Journey Paris.
And while most non-celeb travellers might lose their mind over the slightest glimpse of the Eiffel Tower from the balcony of their AirBnB pied-à-terre. When you do Paris like Beyonce, full-body shots of the city's most iconic monument just come standard along with the en-suite bathrooms of your private apartment.
But when Bey's in town and looking for the kind of plush pampering that only a six-star establishment can provide, she chooses to stay at the Hotel Fouquet Barriere. Rumour has it that outrage ensued when the singer switched her love of competitor inn Le Meurice to the (relatively) new Champs-Elysées spot.
But when you're a fabulous as Beyonce and faced with a little scandal, do as she does and Fouquet those haters!
Checking into the Fouquet? Make sure you ask for the 45-square metre Champs-Élysées Executive Suite with its marble bathroom, his and hers wash basins and anti-steam tv set, because music video research never stops.
If you're Beyonce and in need of a little seaside R&R, you're probably going to make way to your private island off the coast of Florida. But what to do when your personal playground starts feeling a little small? Here's where the Big Island Hawaii comes to the rescue.
Bey and Jay spent headed to the tropical paradise in April this year and we all followed along with them -- via their tumblr, of course. Bey is a conscious Instagrammer, never wanting to spam too many holiday snaps on the finicky social media app at once, for fear of ruining 'the feed'. The solution? Spread them around across Tumblr and Snapchat. The challenge for you is staying on top of them all.
This is where the singer sunned herself and even bought shots for a few fellow hotel guests, because she is, as we say in Australia, a dead-set legend.
Once you arrive on the Big Island you're going to want to check into the Hualalai Resort from The Four Seasons. This understated but ultra luxurious locale is a veritable hot bed of celebrity activity, where you'll find many A-list ilk wandering around in their natural habitat without a care for a pap in the world. Many flock here for the 600 square foot bungalows with stunning views over the black lava beds of the Kona-Kohala coast and PGA standard golf course.
But don't just take our word for it.
You can follow Beyonce on Instagram at @beyonce
We're also on Instagram @citizensoftheworld
Bey Good now kids!
** This is all in jest. We know Beyonce also travels to disaster-struck destinations such as Haiti to give her time to various local charities as well. She can seriously do no wrong.
Meghan McTavish is the editor of Citizens of the WorldSuggest a correction